The Heart Wants
by A maze thing
Summary: There’s a choice you need to make. Either Kate or Ziva. Either way you’ll be losing one. Choose wisely. AU. Longer Summary inside.
1. Chapter 1: Blood Shed

_The Heart Wants…_

Summary: AU: Kate never died, although she did quit NCIS. Now that she is replaced by Ziva, DiNozzo seems to find someone new to tease. But when Tony is hurt, which one will be the one his heart chooses?

A/N: I decided to write this story after me and my friends got into a discussion about who was better for Tony: Ziva or Kate. I haven't decided who wins yet, since either Kate nor Ziva won in our discussion. I haven't seen all of the episodes of NCIS so if anything is wrong, let me know. This is my first NCIS story since all my stories for Supernatural are giving me major writer's block. Also this is unbeta-ed, so all mistakes are my own. Let me know what you think, good or bad, I can take it! *Puts on bullet proof vest*

* * *

Chapter 1: Blood Shed

"_Romance between agents, Kate…it never works."_

Although Gibbs hadn't been talking about herself, she felt as though he was warning her, but how could she have known? When she first meant DiNozzo, she definitely wasn't expecting to fall in love with him. But sometimes these things happened and she knew it was unprofessional. There wasn't anything she could do, but quit. It would just make everything easier. After Tony got sick, well, it just made her realize how far her feelings had gone from the first time she'd seen him. The feeling to just run up and kiss him was starting to rush through her mind more often and it was not something she needed.

Handing in her resignation papers was hard enough, but after Gibbs' glare continued to stare into her eyes, she could feel the words wanting to spring to her lips. The words almost choked her as she tried to look as serious as she could. "I'm sorry Gibbs, but I can't."

And before her former boss could even respond she turned and walked away. As her back retreated into the elevator, Gibbs felt the urge to call after her, but got to his feet instead. Quickly moving towards the elevator, he stopped the doors from closing and stepped in. "Not now Boss."

Gibbs remained silent as the elevator doors closed and started to make its decent. Flipping the switch, the lights turned off and the elevator was at a stand still. Kate had never liked the idea of going to Gibbs' 'office'. "You better be prepared—"

"I am Gibbs." Kate cut him off, not daring to look up at her boss. "I'm serious about this. I quit." She reached over and flipped the switch back, causing the shaft to move again. Without another word, Gibbs stopped the cart and turned to Kate.

He stared at her, both of them knowing the question that would come. "Why?"

She continued to stare at him as she tried to think of her reasoning. Because she was in love? Because she felt like she couldn't do her job without Tony drifting into her mind? Because she was afraid of being broken, or Tony leaving her? Of Tony saying no?

Gibbs could feel the feelings that were running through Kate's body as she thought. He couldn't figure out quite what she was thinking, but he knew only one thing: she was making the biggest mistake of her life.

* * *

That had been over two years ago and Kate could still feel her heart slowly breaking everyday. She still hadn't decided if she had made the right decision. She would busy herself with her work, sticking her nose into anything she could find. She was still an investigator, but just not of the Navy.

She had kept in touch with McGee at first, keeping taps on the team. She had felt bad for leaving without a goodbye to either McGee or DiNozzo, but it was just simpler. After a while she stopped calling, trying to keep her stay at NCIS what it was. In the past.

But as she continued to wonder what could have happened if she stayed at NCIS, she couldn't help but remember the way Tony and herself teased each other. The head slaps Tony received, the glares Gibbs would give to anyone and everyone, the stuttered response of McGee when he was first starting out; it was almost as if a family had been taken away from her when she left.

Her phone rang and she quickly grabbed it off its receiver. "Special Agent Caitlin Todd."

"Kate?" It was McGee. She felt bad hearing his voice, realizing how she must have hurt him when she stopped calling. She started to deliberately ignore McGee's until they finally stopped coming.

"Yea McGee, what is it?" There was a small quiver in his voice as he had spoken her name. It made her worry.

"It's Tony."

A worried smile grew across her face. "What did he do this time?" She hoped that Tony was okay, but there was a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that said he wasn't.

"Kate…he's…I don't know if he's gonna make it. There's so much blood, and the doctors—"

"McGee, where are you?" Kate stood up, grabbing her coat and trying to put it on as she awaited McGee's response.

"Bethesda Hospital." She could hear a woman's voice in the background, but Kate ignored it as she remembered where she would be heading.

"Alright McGee, I'll be there." Not even bothering to make sure the phone made it back to its cradle, Kate ran out of the building and towards her car. She had no idea what was going on, but she was sure as Hell going to be there for Tony.

* * *

Ziva wasn't sure if she should just cry in front of everyone or punch a wall. It was as if Tony refused to keep himself out of harms way. Only a few months ago, they had all believed that he had been blown up. And now, now the danger was real. Death was hanging over his door and Ziva wasn't sure how long Tony could fend him off.

It should have been like any other raid. But Tony could never make things easy. He always seemed to find a way to get himself into harm's way. There was never a time that he wouldn't try to save others before himself. Just once, Ziva wished he'd just let someone else take the bullet. Or multiple bullets as was the case this time.

Ziva wasn't exactly sure what had happened. All she could remember was Gibbs kicking the warehouse door open, expecting to find a few rogue marines selling arms to terrorists. Nothing too extravagant as far as they knew. Before the four letters could ring out of Gibbs' lips, shots were fired and the two of them had ducked behind some large wooden boxes, probably containing weapons.

The sound of wood breaking reached Ziva's ears as she realized that Tony and McGee had entered through the South side, opposite them. Not completely sure if the fire was now being directed at her two teammates or still at them, Ziva looked over at Gibbs who nodded in her direction.

Simultaneously both of their heads popped up, along with their guns—pointed in the area of the gun shots. Gibbs and Ziva emptied their bullets upon the 8 men that immediately returned fire. It seemed like it would be a never ending fire fight, since the warehouse was essentially an arsenal.

Ziva dropped back behind the wooden box, taking cover. She had no idea what was going on, but Gibbs' yell echoed in her ears as bullets continued to ring throughout the warehouse. A loud yelp of pain hit the air and Ziva immediately recognized it as her partner's.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs yelled again. Ziva lifted her head high enough so that her eyes were able to peer over to see Tony lying on the ground, a pool of blood already forming around his body. She couldn't see anymore movement, although she could see the slight rise and fall of his chest as his lungs craved the air. Or was she imagining it?

Bullets continued to whiz past her as she realized that they were still in danger, but her eyes continued to linger on DiNozzo. She desperately wanted to go over to him and make sure he was okay, but that was unrealistic.

The rest of it was a blur now. Everything flowing together and mixing as if it had all happened in a few seconds. The paramedics arrived and whisked Tony away, taking McGee along with him. Gibbs had blood all over his hands and shirt, but it didn't seem to phase him.

"Ziva." She either couldn't hear him or didn't want to. Her eyes were trained on the blood spot on the ground. It had to be at least a pints. She hadn't even been able to see where the bullets hit Tony; she felt so out of place. McGee and Gibbs had applied pressure while she called for the ambulance and back up.

Although a few men escaped after shooting Tony, three were wounded—awaiting more ambulances—and two were handcuffed and waiting to be transported back to the Naval Base.

"Special Agent David!" Gibbs spoke, a little harsher this time. He succeeded in getting her attention as he moved towards the captured men. "Watch them. Make sure they don't try anything. If they do, shot 'em in the foot." Gibbs' face was impassive and a shiver of fear went through the men as they truly weren't sure if he was kidding or not. By the look of Ziva's face, they assumed that she was taking him seriously.

Gibbs walked away, wiping his hands on his pants, but not succeeding in ridding his fingers of the blood. In his frustration, he almost ran his hands through his hair, but stopped himself in time before spreading the blood throughout his scalp.

Digging into his pocket he produced his cell phone and called Ducky. "Ah, Jethro. What can I do for you?"

"Ducky, they just took Tony to the hospital. One shot to the chest, a second to his stomach, and another to the head." Gibbs remembered assessing his agent and realizing that the side of his head was bleeding pretty badly, as all head wounds do. Cursing under his breath he quickly stripped off his jacket and placed it over Tony's abdomen, pressing down hard, hoping to see Tony's eyes flutter open from the pain or a moan escape his lips, but nothing happened. McGee followed suit by applying pressure to his chest wound. The chest wound hadn't been a major problem, but they were afraid that the bullet might have hit his lung.

"Oh my. I shall get down their as soon as possible. Have you told Abby yet?" Gibbs could hear the old M.E. rummaging around, probably grabbing a jacket and hat before quickly moving towards the elevator.

"No." Gibbs' response was short, but everyone knew how she would react to the news. No one wanted to let her know what happened.

"Of course not, Jethro. I'll stop by the lab and let her know. She'll most likely want to accompany me to the hospital."

"Thanks Duck." Gibbs could hear Ducky send a few words to Palmer, mostly trying to get him to follow him along.

"He'll be fine Jethro."

"I know Ducky." And Gibbs closed his cell phone before turning back to Ziva and the men she was guarding. He wasn't sure what she had been doing, but by the look on the men's faces, she must have been doing one hell of a job keeping them in line.

* * *

As the six members of Gibbs' team awaited the verdict on DiNozzo, a worried woman entered the hospital. She ran towards the front desk and asked to see Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Her voice seemed so familiar to Gibbs, but he couldn't bring himself to believe it. Not until she walked into the waiting room and came face to face with all of them.

* * *

A/N: Alright, I know, the team would probably have bullet proof vests on, and although they are not invincible with them on, I did not feel like trying to figure out the exact location in which they are vulnerable with them on. Sorry, I get pretty lazy. If you can overlook that, please click the little comment button. It'll make me get the next chapter up soon...I promise!


	2. Chapter 2: Coming to Terms

A/N: Thanks for leaving me a little something. I really appreciate it.

Alright, I'm pretty sure most of the characters are…well, out of character. I just don't think I have a good grasp on them.

Also, just to clarify, Tony's head wound is only superficial, a glancing hit that skimmed the side of his head, nothing life threatening, just bloody. And his chest wound is supposed to be somewhere near his lungs—far enough to avoid the heart. Sorry for the confusion that anyone had.

_And Kelly, I didn't want Kate to die; I love Ziva, but I loved Kate too. Although it was pretty damn unexpected and made me almost fall off my couch watching it. Anyway, I do agree that their personalities are kinda similar, but I'm a sucker for their banter. I just don't know whose going to get Tony!_

_Mondlerlove—I guess Kate could be a little cruel, but nothing that Tony wouldn't be able to pay her back for. I think there was something there, maybe not as obvious as Tony and Ziva or McGee and Abby, but I think there was something there, although Tony's reaction to her death didn't really show that I guess._

Alright, enough of me talking. Here's the next chapter.

* * *

Chapter 2: Coming to Terms

"How is he?" No hello. No, nice to see ya. Although Gibbs was happy that she had jumped straight to the point and was in the same boat as they all were. They were all worried about DiNozzo, but they probably wouldn't find anything out for a few more hours.

"Don't know." Gibbs' response was curt as he continued to stare past her, into the hallway, awaiting the arrival of anyone with news of his agent. He had picked up on the way that Kate and DiNozzo had gotten closer, but there was still bitterness between himself and Kate. Nothing too sufficient, but enough for Gibbs to feel a flare of annoyance rush through his body as she had entered.

It was as Kate took a seat next to Abby had Gibbs realized how worn the rest of the team looked. McGee's face was pale, blood still staining his clothes, as he sat next to Abby. His legs were shaking slightly, barely noticeable. His hand was on Abby's back while the other was wrapped around her chest in a comforting grip.

Abby was leaning into McGee, but not exactly touching him. Gibbs figured it was because of the blood. "McGee, go get cleaned up."

"You should get cleaned up too Gibbs," Kate spoke so quickly, he almost couldn't hear what she had said. But with a quick glare he returned to McGee.

"Go." His tone left for no questions, and McGee did as he was told. He turned his attention to himself at the moment and noticed that the deep red that had been there not too long ago had turned into a brown. It made his stomach churn to see the evidence of Tony's injuries so blatantly exposed for everyone to see. He felt sick even thinking that it was on him.

He stood up slowly and moved towards the doors and walked outside. He couldn't think of what to do. There wasn't anything for him to do in the hospital, but he didn't want to be away from DiNozzo if anything happened. It was almost as if there was only a thin string keeping DiNozzo alive and if Gibbs left, it would snap. But there were still things to do back at the Naval Base. There was always something for him to do. There just wasn't many times when he didn't greet it with open arms.

A soft hand grabbed his shoulder, and he immediately recognized it as Director Jenny Shepard's. She smiled at him with one of her famous smiles, the one that was always reassuring, always a comfort. "He'll be fine Jethro. You should go home. Get changed. There's enough of us here to—"

"No." He closed the door to the outside and stepped back in, turning to walk past her. Her fingers lightly clasped onto his arm, making him stop dead in his tracks.

"Fine. I'll go get you some new clothes to wear," she turned to walk away. "And McGee too." She exited the building before any of the team were able to see her enter. Although she wanted to make sure Tony was okay, she knew that she would probably be one of the only sensible people around for awhile.

* * *

Ziva watched as Gibbs returned, following his movements with her eyes. She could see everyone's worry, even their 'fearless leader' as Abby refers to him. Her keen eyes noticed Gibbs' heavy steps and tired stature.

She also noticed the worry building up and ready to burst inside Abby as she fidgeted. Standing up, she moved towards her friend and sat next to her, whispering reassuring words. "Tony'll be fine. He always is."

In her comforting movements, Ziva hadn't noticed Kate's eyes upon her. Ziva seemed strange to Kate, a little out of place. She seemed to be accepted by the team, but there was just something off about her. She couldn't tell what it was, but there was something about her that Kate didn't like. Kate was never a person to judge a book by its cover, but Ziva was not someone she could picture Tony teasing in the bullpen or McGee coming to talk to.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Abby's quiet words. "But what if he's not? He's not a cat ya know! Maybe he's cheated death too many times!" Abby's words turned into sobs as she clenched onto Ziva's arm. More whispered words escaped her lips and seemed to have a calming effect on her as McGee hurried back into the room. He took up his respective spot next to Abby and started to stroke her hair.

_When did the two of them get _that_ close?_ Kate turned towards the M.E. that was seating next to his young assistant, who seemed to be more integrated into Gibbs' team than she had remembered when she was there. Grant you it was two years ago, but you never know how much someone can change in that short of a time until it flies past.

Ducky was looking sadly upon them all, almost as if he was helpless. But not completely to her surprise he spoke. "Now, this reminds me of a time in my youth…"

Kate smiled as she remembered how the M.E. could go on for days about stories that had happened when he was younger. They were normally cut off by Gibbs' nonexistent patience. No one spoke while Ducky went about his long winded story.

* * *

The director arrived a few minutes into Ducky's story, placing coffee on the table and passing McGee and Gibbs new clothes for them to change into. McGee looked towards Gibbs, who gave him a nod, before he left to find the bathroom. Everyone grabbed a coffee, but as Kate reached in, there was no more left. Her cheeks flared momentarily in embarrassment, but she quickly composed herself.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Jenny spoke, unsure of what to say. She had known who Caitlin Todd was, although they had never met before. It was hard trying to get Gibbs to replace her, but somehow Ziva found her way into the team. She extended a hand towards the former member of Gibbs' team. "Director Jenny Shepard."

"Kate." She skipped formalities as she grabbed her hand and shook it. A smile crossed her face out of politeness, but she immediately sat back down. Her mind had started to turn to the person she missed the most. Tony.

At first it had felt like a brother-sister teasing match, but it started to blossom into something knew. At least for Kate it had. But she had never been sure if Tony felt the same way. If she asked, would he laugh? Even if he did have feelings for her, would he follow them? She wasn't exactly the type of girl he dated normally. Who was she kidding? He would have moved on by now if he even had some feelings to begin with. So why hadn't she?

* * *

Ziva watched as Abby and McGee almost shared the same chair, they were that close. Letting out a sigh, she started to think about the possible outcomes. Tony could be dead, that was the obvious, or he could be alive. But if he lived, would he still be the same DiNozzo?

She shook her head; there was no way she could let herself think about that. She loved him…or did she? There was a battle being waged inside her, and she wasn't sure if there were true feelings for her partner or she was just having a girlish crush.

Her eyes glanced over towards Gibbs, who was sitting next to Jenny, probably discussing what had happened. Ziva wasn't even sure what had happened. If she had been more prepared, paid attention, maybe this wouldn't have happened. If she had thought of others first instead of herself, maybe she wouldn't be the one waiting in the rightfully called waiting room. Maybe she'd be the one riddled with bullets.

Maybe that's what she deserved. Tony didn't deserve this. He was a little childish and not always the most serious person, but there was always a kind heart inside. He had a stubborn streak that could rival Gibbs when it came to cases. There weren't many that would cross his path that were left unsolved. DiNozzo was an amazing investigator, an amazing person, so why was he always the one being bandaged up? Maybe not this bad, but there was always something that needed mending.

"Ziva, my dear," Ducky's words cut into her thoughts, obviously he had stopped his story, sometimes even he didn't find it the right time to tell of his boyish stories. "Are you alright?"

Her eyes blinked up towards him from their spot on the floor. She hadn't noticed that she seemed to be the only one that wasn't either showing their worry or being stoic; she was just vacant. Her face was void of emotion, but there was something there behind the surface. Everyone could see it, but just didn't know what it was. Worry, fear, anger? It was a mystery. "Yes, Ducky."

Her voice was oddly calm and a rush of heat hit her body. She felt her cheeks flush, although nothing appeared in them, and she turned away. Ziva stared at the plastic chairs that sat in between herself and Dr. Mallard. She could feel her chest constrict, tighter and tighter, and the unfamiliar feeling made her nervous.

She quickly moved to her feet and left the waiting area and found the nearest bathroom. Ziva couldn't tell if anyone had followed her, only her heart beat and her footsteps rang in her ears. She wasn't even sure what she was doing. She just wanted to leave, but not Tony. She wanted to run—run away with Tony.

Pushing the bathroom door open, Ziva stepped into the empty room and gripped the nearest sink. Her fingers slipping around the smooth edges, she stared at herself through the mirror. She looked as she always did, but there was something wrong. There was something different. There was sadness in her eyes, a clatter of her teeth, and a small whimper that wanted to escape her lips.

Was this all because she loved Tony? Or because she feared she may lose a friend? She knew she never wanted him to leave her, but was there a deeper meaning than what was on the surface?

* * *

Not too much happening in this one, but let me know what you think anyway.


	3. Chapter 3: Who Said Love Was Simple?

Sorry for the slow update. I've been sick lately and haven't really been able to actually get much done.

Thanks for all the comments! They are greatly appreciated!

Alright, as for medical experience. I've got nothing. So basically if anyone sees anything wrong, let me know, and I'll fix it as best as I can.

* * *

Chapter 3: Who said Love was Simple?

A male doctor walked up to the seven people that lay or sat throughout the waiting room. They were the only people in the room and the doctor immediately made his way over to them. His grey hair matched the gray-blue color of his eyes as he walked towards them. "Are you Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo's family?"

"Yes!" Abby yelled before anyone else could, jumping to her feet. Her pigtails, a little messy from lying in McGee's lap, popped as they always did in her anticipation.

Everyone stood, but only Ducky and Gibbs stepped towards the doctor. The doctor cocked an eyebrow at the two men, asking them their identities. "I'm Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I'm DiNozzo's boss."

The doctor opened his mouth to speak, but Ducky was able to squeeze in his introduction as well. "I'm Dr. Mallard. Tony's physician."

"Well, I actually need to see Agent DiNozzo's family. His _real_ family." The remark stabbed the two men's heart and had Abby been paying attention, she would have jumped at the guy.

"I'm DiNozzo's next of kin. So legally—"

The doctor flipped through his chart and spoke quickly, "Yes, yes. I'm sorry, just a formality." He waved his hand, beckoning them to follow him. He moved towards the other side of the waiting room, trying to create as much distance between themselves and the others.

Taking a seat in one of the many uncomfortable chairs, the doctor spoke, "I'm Dr. Jack Casey. First off, the bullets nicked his left lung and his large intestine. We repaired them during the surgery, but…"

Abby stood suddenly, not completely able to make out what the doctor was saying, but she'd rather hear it from Gibbs and Ducky anyway. "I should go get Ziva." Her pace was quick as she moved down the hallway.

Her hands rested upon the bathroom door, hoping that Ziva had gone to the bathroom instead of outside, or left all together. She pushed it open slightly, "Ziva?" Her head popped in through the crack in the door and spotted her friend standing in front of the mirror, eyes shut. "Ziva?" she called once again.

"Yes Abby?" Ziva didn't move and there was a slight shiver in her voice, although it was barely noticeable. Abby stepped into the bathroom and took in the sight of the Mossad Officer. Abby had always seen her as a 'No nonsense', let's get our work done now kind of person. But now, now she just looked like a normal person. She looked like someone who was breaking.

"Ziva, Tony's out of surgery."

"What?" Ziva turned towards Abby quickly, staring at her with the unshed tears in her eyes. They seemed to glisten in the dim lights of the bathroom, but Abby could still see the hope in them.

"The doctor just came out. He's talking to Gibbs and Ducky now." Abby took a step closer and could see how upset Ziva truly was. Her hair was a mess, eyes' red from vicious rubbing, and there seemed to be a sheen of sweat upon her forehead. She had not felt like this before; not since Roy Sanders had she felt that way.

"Abby…" she couldn't say what she wanted to say. She wasn't about to sound like a ridiculous school girl after being dumped by her supposed 'soulmate'. Ziva was not about to let her emotions get the better of her anymore. She would close herself out, turn away, and keep everything inside.

"Ziva," Abby moved towards her, shuffling her feet as she did so. Her arms were outstretched as she pulled the Mossad Officer into a comforting embrace. It seemed like that was the thing Ziva needed most, although she wasn't prepared to admit it. She prided herself in being about to handle tough situations, but this…this was just too much. "It's okay. He's going to be okay."

"But what if he isn't?" Ziva wrapped herself around Abby and took in the hug with a new wave of relief and sorrow. What if Tony didn't make it through this? There was always the chance that Tony would be alive and then die the next minute. There was no guarantee on someone's life.

There was a swift smack to the back of the head and Ziva feared that Gibbs had entered the ladies room and had overheard what she had said. She couldn't let Gibbs or anyone else see her like this.

But instead, it was Abby's hand that had placed the shocking smack upon her head. "Don't say that Ziva. No negative thoughts. Only positive. Tony's going to be okay. Tony _is_ okay. I know, I can feel it."

Ziva pulled away to look at Abby and could see the truth that lined her eyes. Abby was always hopeful and optimistic even when times seemed hopeless. Abby was always capable of turning a frown upside down. But in Abby's eyes was also indifference, for they both knew that there was still that chance that they wouldn't see or hear Tony ever again. And that thought haunted both of them to their cores, but as they tried to suppress it, it just started to eat them up from the inside.

Tears started to form in Abby's eyes and Ziva's lips broke open as she felt responsible for the tears that were threatening to fall down her face. A small laugh escaped her lips, "You're right Abby. He's going to be fine." Even Ziva couldn't believe that until she saw DiNozzo for herself. The uncertainty of her sentences left a burning trail up on her tongue and down her throat.

* * *

Kate twiddled her thumbs quietly as she tried to ignore the words that were drifting into her ears. _Respirator…critical…substantial blood loss…not promising._ There was more, but she just couldn't bear to even think of the words. She had no idea what happened to Tony, but she was afraid of asking.

Her eyes settled on McGee, who was also trying to ignore the doctor's words. His head was turned to the side, staring at one of the tiles on the floor. She knew that if she stared long enough he would look up—A-HA!

His eyes meet hers and he forced a smile. _Maybe he was trying to be reassuring._ She got up and moved to the seat next to him, continuing to stare into McGee's eyes. If Kate lost contact with his eyes, she feared that maybe he'd try to ignore her questions. "McGee?" she spoke quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear.

"Kate?" Tim cocked an eyebrow at her as he continued to wait for Abby to return with Ziva. If Tony was allowed visitors, Abby would definitely want to be one of the first ones in line.

"What happened?" McGee knew exactly what she wanted to know, but he really didn't feel like talking about it. There was just something about the fact that his partner was laying in a hospital bed, lingering between life and death, that made the story hard to tell. He kept replaying it over and over again in his mind, trying to figure out where he had gone wrong, why he hadn't shot sooner, why he hadn't stop DiNozzo when he had the chance. In the end, there was nothing more important than the fact that McGee felt as though he did not have his partner's six and that made him hurt the most.

"McGee?!" it came out a little harsher than she had intended, but it did what she wanted it to do. McGee's eyes met hers once again. Kate stared back into them; she wanted to know what happened and McGee was the only one that could tell her right then.

"Kate—I…"

"Please McGee, I need to know." Although she wasn't sure if she truly needed to know, but she wanted to. She wanted to know why she was sitting in this waiting room, worrying over her former partner. Her mind danced around the idea that maybe DiNozzo was more then a former partner, but at the moment she had to ignore it. She needed to know what happened and find out if Tony would be okay before she could even think about anything else.

"We were going in to arrest some weapon dealers. Nothing big." McGee stared at the floor, remembering everything as if it were happened right at that moment. "But Gibbs and Ziva were taking heavy fire and before I could even think of anything, Tony nodded at me and stepped out into the open. I watched as he shot at them, but I didn't shot until it was too late. He fell to the ground. I can still hear his shout of pain." McGee's voice was starting to crack as he tried to erase the sounds and images from his mind. He just had no way of getting the thoughts out of his mind. _It's my fault._

"McGee, I'm sorry." Kate placed a hand on his back as he leaned forward, placing his chin in his open palms. "This isn't your fault."

"Ya know," Tim spoke before turning his head slightly to take a quick glance at her before turning back to the floor. "Everyone says that. 'It's not your fault.' But it truly is. Deep down, we all know it. There's no way it's not my fault. If I just reacted faster, or stopped him. Or even followed him, maybe he wouldn't be hurt this badly. No matter what you say—"

"Aw, Timmy. That's not true!" Abby had walked in on their conversation with Ziva on her tail. Although Ziva felt a little out of place with Kate around, since she was the only one that didn't know her, she still stayed by Abby. It wasn't McGee's fault, and he needed to know that, no matter how many times she'd have to yell it at him. If it was anyone's fault it was hers.

"Abby?!" Tim hated it when she saw him like that. It wasn't that he was trying to hide his feelings, he wasn't emotionless, but Abby always wanted to fix things. She always tried to make things better, but sometimes, broken things can't be fixed. Sometimes its just junk that needs to be taken out and replaced.

"You don't mean that, right?" Abby's arms were around McGee's body, squeezing him tight. He could have sworn that she was trying to squeeze the truth out of him.

"Yes, McGee, this is not your fault. You could not do anything to stop Tony." _But I should have. I should have made sure that he didn't do anything stupid. Should have been watching him. I was just too much of a coward to keep an eye on him._

"See Tim. Ziva agrees!" She released her grip upon her friend. "Now, no more negative thoughts. Only positive thoughts!"

McGee looked up at her with sad eyes.

Abby was about to continue, but was cut off as Gibbs and Ducky returned to their group. Abby rose to her feet first, followed by the others, as they awaited the news that the two men were going to tell them. Jenny moved forward, standing directly in front of Gibbs. Jenny had wanted to go speak with the doctor as well, but she felt it was Gibbs and Ducky's place, not hers. So she waited like the rest of the gang.

There was silence and Abby almost lunged at Gibbs. "Gibbs! How is he? Can we see him?!"

Gibbs let out a sigh, in which Ducky took as a cue to take over. Ducky gladly started the conversation, much to Gibbs' pleasure, "Anthony is recovering nicely." He wasn't exactly sure how much he should say, but he knew that wasn't enough information. "He had internal bleeding, one of the bullets hit his intestine and another nicked his lung. The surgeons were able to repair them and they should heal perfectly. But they put him on a ventilator and have placed him in a slight drug-induced coma for the time being. They will slowly reduce the amount of mediation, allowing him to wake up on his own."

Everyone's faces were a mix of pleasure, shock, and horror. They were happy that DiNozzo had made it, but there was still confusion of what to feel. None of them had really known how bad Tony's injuries were and just hearing them made their skin crawl. There was also the possibility that Tony wouldn't be the same smartass, wisecracking playboy that he was known to be.

There was a moment of silence and then, "Can we see him?" Abby. She didn't care how bad their words sounded, she wanted to see him, needed to see that he was alive. She didn't care what they said, as long as Tony was alive, he'd be okay. He had to be. Gibbs wouldn't let it be any other way.

Before Gibbs could answer the question, the doctor appeared behind the agent. He gave a slight cough and Gibbs turned around to stand face to face with him. "Special Agent Gibbs, you can go see him now."

"Gibbs!" Abby cried.

"Two at a time Abby, come on." Gibbs waved a hand over his shoulder, signaling for her to follow. She bounced on her feet as she realized that she would be able to see Tony. Her feet drew her after Gibbs and the doctor as she felt only positive thoughts coming into her mind. Images of Tony sitting up and smiling at her, making jokes, all roamed her mind. Abby could only hope that what she was thinking about was real.

* * *

McGee refused to look up from the floor; his back was hunched and his shoulders were lifted up, completely covering his neck. He could feel his back slowly start to ache, but he ignored it, knowing that Tony was in much worse pain than he was.

After talking to Kate about what happened, no matter how much Abby denied it, McGee knew that it was his fault. There was just no denying it. And, as he had taken a quick glance at Kate and Ziva, he could tell that this was affecting them greatly. There was just something in the back of his mind that was repeatedly telling him that all this pain, all this trouble, all this sorrow and worry was because of him. A shiver ran down his spine at the thought of his mistake.

"McGee." It was calm and short, and Tim knew it could only come from one person: Ziva. He couldn't look at her, couldn't see the sadness in her eyes. He wasn't used to seeing emotions in her eyes, but this time, he could see it clear as day.

"McGee," she repeatedly a little harshly. Again she was ignored.

"McGee, look at me." She hissed at him this time and grabbed his chin so that his face was facing hers, although his eyes remained plastered to the floor. "If you do not look at me—"

She didn't have to finish her threat for his eyes flickered up towards her, and he noticed something new. Ziva could feel the tiny tingling of tears as they started to scrape at the back of her eyes. The sadness, pain, and guilt that lay in McGee's eyes were no match for what lay in his eyes. Her face remained calm as she starting to talk, "McGee this is not—"

"Ziva, stop it."

Ziva was taken aback by this, literally pulling backwards slightly and staring at him in confusion. She hadn't heard Tim sound so…helpless, self-pitying, sad. She opened her mouth to speak, but McGee cut her off. "Just don't Ziva. No matter what—"

It was Ziva's turn to interrupt. "Tim! Listen!" her voice had risen for those two words, but as she realized how embarrassing it must be for her partner, she quieted down, even leaned in closer. Her face was close enough to McGee's so that he could not look at anything, but her unless he turned his head. "Listen to me. This is _not_ your fault! You did everything you could. There is no reason for you to do this to yourself. It's stupid!"

McGee stared at the woman trying to console him. He had never seen or heard Ziva like this…consoling someone. She was more of the ignore it and sweep it under the rug kind of person. He was pretty confused at this random change inside her. "But Ziva…"

"No buts McGee. There was nothing, _nothing_, you could do to stop Tony. It is in his nature. Tony always takes the cow by the horns."

"Bulls. Cows don't have horns."

"I know, that is why your American idioms are so stupid. Cows don't have horns!"

"Ziva, it's bulls."

"What is bulls?" A smile crept upon McGee's face. Although she acted very well, Ziva had known the phase already, but wanted to make McGee smile. It was the least she could do. He was blaming himself for her mistake. She couldn't let that happen, only she should suffer for what happened to Tony.

* * *

Kate stared at the two coworkers; McGee finally seemed to feel a little less guilty, at least for the moment. She cocked her head slightly, although she hoped no one noticed as she looked towards the woman sitting next to her former partner. Ziva. The Mossad Officer had been able to distract Tim from his worries. She was a good friend to him.

But there was still something that stung her heart as she realized how quickly she was replaced. It was two years, but she still had hoped that there would still be a small place for her at NCIS, but obviously Ziva had filled that spot. She gritted her teeth slightly, but turned away, afraid that her anger was showing upon her face. Maybe Tony would be glad to see her. Maybe Tony would welcome her with open arms and she would crawl into them, nuzzling her body into his; their bodies would match as though they were two pieces of a puzzle as her head would rest upon his chest. She could feel the warm of his skin. A smile crossed her face at the thought.

All the things that could have happened, but she had decided to sever the ties and leave NCIS. She hadn't even said goodbye to Tony. She had spoken to McGee, Abby, even Ducky. But she hadn't spoken to Tony or Gibbs. She needed a clean break. There was nothing else for her to do, but leave. Yea, that's what it was. It was something she needed. At least that's what she kept telling herself.

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	4. Chapter 4: Tony, Can You Hear Me?

A/N: Uh, I truly have no reason for not putting this up sooner. I'm just really lazy. Sorry. Thanks for the comments and story alerts, though!

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Chapter 4: Tony, Can you Hear me?

Abby came back without Gibbs at her side, her face was basically the same. Kate couldn't tell if she was relieved from seeing Tony or even more worried by the sight of him. This made her worry even more. "Gibbs said that it was time for someone else to see him."

All of them looked at each other. All of them wanted to run to the room, just wanting that glimpse of DiNozzo. Even the smallest peek, the shortest look. It was just worth it. They wanted to make sure that he was alive.

"McGee and Ziva, go." Gibbs came up from behind Abby with a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. He moved past her quickly, but not before planting a kiss upon her cheek out of reassurance. He looked at his two agents and cocked an eyebrow. "You waiting for an invitation?"

"No Boss." Ziva and McGee quickly got to their feet and ran towards Tony's room. There was a certain heaviness that Gibbs noticed in both of his agents' steps, filling that observation in the back of his mind when they came back. He had other things to attend to; firstly the appearance of his former agent.

When Gibbs knew that Ziva and McGee were indeed in Tony's room (which was not that far from the waiting room), he turned to Kate. Her eyes flickered away from his and turned towards the ground. Wrong move. "Kate."

"Yes Gibbs?" Kate answered as sweetly as she could, which wasn't even close to a normal voice. It seemed to break with the emotion she felt. Love? Worry? Fear? Jealousy? She had no idea. But something was there and she didn't like the way it was making her feel. Maybe that was the reason why she left in the first place.

"Here. Now." His voice was calm as it always was. But there was a certain edge to it, that she could remember from when DiNozzo had the plague. She just couldn't bring herself to think about that. That was the second time she almost lost him.

Getting up slowly she moved towards Gibbs, noticing the new director—well new to her—Jenny Shepard staring at her former boss. Kate couldn't quite make out what the woman was trying to convey to Gibbs. There was a lot of glaring between the two and she wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. No wonder suspects always cracked under Gibbs' interrogation techniques.

She sat down next to Gibbs and looked over towards the Director again, but she had turned away, engaging Ducky in a conversation. Not wanting to look at those blue eyes, Kate looked down at the floor, hoping that maybe, just maybe, Gibbs would just let her sit there. The anticipation was much better than actually talking to Gibbs sometimes.

"Kate." _Damnit._ "We need to talk."

"I kinda figured that out when you called me over here." She turned to look at Gibbs and could feel his blue stare burning holes into her face. There were some moments where she wished DiNozzo or McGee would screw up or make some sort of distraction that would allow her to slip away. Nope, no one was coming to her rescue.

"You never told me why you left." Gibbs knew the reason, at least he and Abby had agreed upon the reason. But he just wasn't sure if she was expecting something from Tony after all this was over or she was just there to make sure a former colleague and friend was alright. Gibbs didn't want Kate to get hurt or Tony to feel the same as he had when Kate left. Gibbs could remember the look upon his senior field agent's face.

_He came walking into the bullpen, late as always, with a bright smile upon his face. Obviously he had a story to tell Kate and McGee. He threw his backpack behind his desk and looked at the desk that was opposite his own. Empty._

_His eyes flickered towards Gibbs and McGee, cocking an eyebrow in confusion. "Uh, Boss?"_

"_Yea DiNozzo?" Gibbs looked up from his computer, although he really wasn't doing anything. He had been pretending to look busy in hopes of buying some time on telling DiNozzo about Kate's resignation. But obviously that hadn't done it._

"_Where's Kate?" DiNozzo still had a smile upon his face, assuming that Kate was either late or taking the day off. If she was late than Tony would have the time of his life making her miserable. And if she had taken off, well let's just say he had glue in his desk._

"_She's not here."_

"_I can see that Boss. But why?" DiNozzo was just so nosey. There were just moments where Gibbs just wished that everyone would keep to themselves, but then he'd be out of a job._

"_She resigned."_

"_What?!"_

"_Ya need a hearing aid DiNozzo?" Tony had already moved from his desk towards Gibbs', staring at him in outrage and confusion. His hands were placed upon Gibbs' desk as he stared at his boss._

"_No, Boss." He paused, letting out a calming breath. "Kate quit? And you didn't stop her?" Tony could hear the silence coming from McGee, not even hearing the click of the keyboard as he pretended to be doing work. Obviously McGee wanted to know just as much as DiNozzo, but didn't ask. Smart kid. _

"_Kate is her own person."_

"_Yea, but you just let her go? She didn't even say goodbye!" He pushed himself off of Gibbs' desk and walked back to his desk. His face twisted with mixed feelings as they all fought to reach the surface. Pain, anger, confusion were present._

_Gibbs looked at McGee, who immediately started typing upon his computer again. Moving his eyes towards his senior field agent, Gibbs saw the thin mask slip upon DiNozzo's face as he turned on his computer and dug through his desk in search of something. It was what DiNozzo did; he'd bury himself with work in order to forget about the pain he was feeling. _

"Gibbs, I just needed some change." Well it wasn't a total lie. She just didn't tell the whole truth. _That's lying._

He glared at her, waiting for her to crack under pressure. She started to squirm under the glower from her former boss. Her skin crawled and her lips ached with the truth. Kate wanted to tell him, but she just couldn't. No, she didn't even know if it was the truth.

"Ducky. You can go now." McGee had reentered the waiting room, his face looking a little pale. _Oh God, I hope it's not that bad_, Kate thought. Her eyes followed the M.E. as he stood and looked towards Kate. Nodding his head, he started towards Tony's room.

She was hoping that Ducky wanted her to follow and quickly turned her attention back to Gibbs. He nodded in reply, and she stood up and ran off as fast as she could. Kate was happy for the rescue from Gibbs and also the opportunity to finally see Tony.

* * *

Kate noticed Ziva standing outside Tony's room, staring through the window that allowed her a small view of DiNozzo. Ducky stopped next to her and placed a hand upon her shoulder and spoke words of encouragement, Kate was sure of that. Although she didn't care to hear what they were. The urge to just run into the room was almost too great to fight, so moving as quickly as she could, she stepped into the room.

The room was dark; the curtains were blocking what little sunlight was outside. It was oddly ominous that day when Kate had arrived at work; it seemed to fit the mood of her day.

The lights had been dimmed, allowing the bright lights of the machinery to attract Kate's full attention. There was a rhythmic beat, obviously DiNozzo's heart beat. It seemed to draw her in, causing her to step closer towards Tony. She could see the white bandage that was wrapped around his head from the wound he had sustained. It covered part of the left side of his head and hair, stopping short of his eye. She noticed the pale look upon his face and let her eyes roam the face she had engraved into her memory. The smooth curve of his lips, the color of his eyes, the smile that graced his face so often while teasing McGee and herself. Kate could see it in her mind, but not on the face in front of her. It was as if someone wiped away the mask and left only a shell of Tony DiNozzo.

"It's sad to see him like this." Ducky appeared behind Kate, his shoulder brushing softly against hers. They both stared at Tony in silence for a few more moments until Kate moved closer, taking a seat next to him. She grabbed hold of his exposed hand that lay on top of the hospital blankets. An IV was attached to it; Kate made sure she was extra careful not to knock it out.

She noticed the white bandage on his chest, but turned her eyes back to his face. She didn't want to see what else was on him. Just seeing his face—however painful it was—made her feel as though they were back at NCIS again, together. Kate so desperately wished they could go back to those times, but it seemed impossible. She had to push those thoughts out of her mind.

"I shall leave you alone with him m'dear." Ducky excused himself quietly after a few minutes of checking upon Tony, making sure that everything was in order. A small smile stayed upon his lips as he exited, leaving Kate with DiNozzo.

"Tony, come on. You have us all worried sick. Abby is a mess and so is McGee. Even Gibbs is worried. He won't say it out loud, but I can tell." She paused, fearing she may sound a little too much like Abby for her speech had sped up to a frightening speed. She let out a breath before continuing. "Tony, please. I've missed you. I know I left and didn't say goodbye, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. And I refuse to say goodbye to you this time. I won't. I'm never going to leave you!"

She could feel her heart lift with excitement at the thought of being with DiNozzo. That was what she wanted, what she craved for so long. And now it was within her grasp and Kate just wanted Tony to wake up so that it could become a reality.

* * *

Ducky left Tony's room, leaving Kate alone in the room and Ziva alone outside. She had wanted to go inside, she really did. But something wouldn't let her. She just couldn't.

And now, the words that Kate spoke. The words that seemed so passionate, so guilty, so hopeful. They all seemed to scream at Ziva. Telling her that she was nothing more than a partner, a coworker, someone to tease, and it started to break her heart.

Normally it wouldn't have bothered her, but it was Tony and Kate. Obviously they had had a close relationship, given the way that he reacted to Ziva replacing her. But she had assumed that Tony realized that there was something more, at least for Ziva. She hadn't noticed the deadly emotion spread throughout her body until it was too late. Ziva had fallen in love with Tony.

But now Kate had come back. Now there seemed to be no hope for her and Tony, and she needed to accept the truth.

Placing her hand on the window, she turned away and moved back towards the waiting room. She could feel the tears coming to her eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall. She was too weak to even step into his room, how could he ever love her if she couldn't be there for him in his time of need?

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	5. Chapter 5: One Week Later

A/N: Thanks for all the story alerts and comments! They are greatly appreciated!

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Chapter 5: One Week Later

One week. Gibbs couldn't wrap his head around it. DiNozzo had been in a coma for a week now, and he started to fear that he may never see those green, playful eyes ever again. As he stared at his senior field agent, he ignored the ache in his back and legs as he stretched, still sitting in the only chair in the room. Kate had fallen asleep on the bed that the nurse had moved in for Gibbs. She needed the rest; she seemed to be there with Tony at all times. It was hard for the nurses to get her to leave, but a glare from Gibbs sent her reluctantly home.

Gibbs had found Abby sitting on the bed with Tony, talking to him, decorating the room. She had tried her best to think positively and ignore the fragile appearance of her friend. Only outside of the room would Abby allow anyone to see her cry her frustration and fears.

Ducky and Palmer checked in on DiNozzo everyday, making sure to stop at least once before heading home. Although Gibbs thought sometimes Ducky would come to make sure he had some sleep and nourishment more than looking after Tony. The M.E. always made sure to bring him fresh coffee—as did the rest of the team—and repeated to Gibbs what the doctors had already told him, but getting the second run-down was just as good.

McGee usually came with news of the case and to stand watch over DiNozzo while Gibbs dragged Kate to the cafeteria or the diner across the street. They both were there the most often and McGee would usually sit while Abby talked about whatever she wanted—usually about what had happened the night before.

Jenny stopped by as well, although less frequent than the others. She was, of course, the director and already had so much work on her plate, making it hard for her to visit. But she made time. Jenny'd come with news on the case that they had been working on as McGee would. Gibbs had come in for the interrogations, but the rest was left up to his two agents. Knowing they could handle it, he allowed them to call the shots.

The only one that he hadn't seen was Ziva. Not once had he seen her come and visit Tony. From what Gibbs was told from Ducky, she hadn't even been inside the room just yet. It was strange to think of Ziva as afraid of seeing DiNozzo, afraid of anything in general. Gibbs knew, for sure, that Ziva was afraid of things, but she hid it well. Just the blatant ignorance of Tony's growing health made him want to give her a hard smack across the back of the head.

He couldn't blame her, though; watching DiNozzo day in and day out was taking a toll on him. The pale skin, the tube running down his throat, the fragile look of his body, the way the nurses seemed to touch his skin as if it would break into a million pieces for no reason; it was all overwhelming. Gibbs hated to see his senior field agent like this, so vulnerable, but they all had these moments. He thought back to how the team must have felt when he was in a coma a year ago after being blown up.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sleepiness in his eyes and the obnoxious ring of his cell phone. Quickly pulling it out of his pocket he examined the screen and saw Abby's name flash across it. A slight smile swept across his face as he stood, moving towards the door as not to wake Kate. His steps were silent, but his voice, not so much.

Leaning against the doorway, Gibbs opened the cell phone and spoke, "Gibbs." It was as if he didn't know who it was, but he knew Abby was smiling at the other end.

"How is he? Any change?" Gibbs smiled again.

"No change Abby. He's doing better, but he still hasn't woken up." He took a short glance over at the man lying in the bed across the room. His eyes examined the machine's beep and lights and then roamed the man's face, making sure there was nothing wrong. "Stop worrying Abbs. He'll be fine. He always is."

"He better be." Abby added, a short sigh escaping her lips. Gibbs knew she was worried and anxious for Tony to wake up. They all were, but Abby was the one that showed it more openly then the rest. She always did; she usually represents everyone's fears in one person.

"Bye Abbs."

"Bye Gibbs." It was strange for him to actually say goodbye, but it was Abby. And he was in no rush; there was no case to take care of at the moment. Snapping the phone shut he turned back into the room and looked at DiNozzo, whose hand was held in Kate's grasp.

Her eyes flickered towards his; she had been avoiding his questions. She didn't want to talk to him, only to Tony. Abby had gotten her to talk to her, along with Ducky and McGee, but it was nothing more than small talk.

His lips parted, ready to say something to her, but she stopped him. "Gibbs could you get some coffee?" Her brown eyes returned back to DiNozzo without another word. Gibbs could see her intense stare roaming the man's face, and he knew it wouldn't hurt to give them some privacy.

"Five minutes." Gibbs turned around and began to walk out of the room when Dr. Casey moved into the room. Gibbs had almost forgotten that the doctor was going to come by, determining if Tony truly needed his respirator anymore. Leaning back against the doorway after letting the doctor through, Gibbs folded his arms and hoped that the infernal tube would be removed immediately.

* * *

About 10 minutes later, the doctor was leaving the room and DiNozzo no longer had the respirator. Gibbs allowed a smile to drift upon his face again as he realized how much of an improvement this was. His eyes lingered on Kate for a few moments, noticing that she had taken up the same position she had earlier. A frown crossed his lips and spread to his face as he wondered if this would lead to disaster.

Knowing that he didn't have any evidence that DiNozzo still didn't have feelings for Kate, Gibbs shook his head. Interfering would just ruin things. At least that's how he felt.

Turning away from the scene, Gibbs left the room and went to get coffee down the hallway and took out his phone in the process. Quickly finding the number he wanted and clicking send, he waited for his favorite forensic scientist to answer her phone. There was a short blast of music at first, but it was quickly shut off. "Gibbs? Is something wrong?"

"No, no. There's not." Gibbs quickly cut her off before she was able to go off into a worried rant. "Tony's fine. They just removed his breathing tube."

He could hear the excited intake of air from Abby. "That's so great! I'll be right down as soon as I can!" and she immediately hung up, probably going off to finish up work and get to the hospital. There weren't many times when Gibbs was hung up on, but he couldn't help but laugh at the irony.

Walking towards the exterior of the building to get some actual coffee from a coffee shop down the road, Gibbs glanced at his phone. He would give Kate 5 more minutes alone with Tony before he came back. It was almost time for her to leave anyway.

* * *

"See Tony, you can do it. Just keep fighting. Come back. Come back to _me_." Kate spoke softly into his ear. Her dark hair was brushing against his arm, but he had no reaction to it, although she didn't expect one since he was in a coma, but she could hope.

"Tony, I—I need you to come back. Please." Tears started to run down her face as she realized how easily this all could have been avoided. It seemed like everything she did was inadvertently hurting someone, most of the time herself. Closing her eyes, she wished to be able to hear a wisecrack climb out of his mouth or his signature smile that he used while flirting. Even the teasing, there was just so much that she wanted from him, but he was giving her nothing.

A sigh left her lips as she leaned back in the chair. "Tony, please. I know I left, but it was a stupid mistake. I want to _fix_ it." She rested her head upon his arm, allowing the tears that were streaming down her face like a small waterfall dampening the sheets and his arm. She didn't care. All Kate cared about was getting DiNozzo back, back into her life.

* * *

McGee stared at his computer, not sure of what he was doing. His paperwork was finished and there was no more work to be done, but he still felt like there was something missing. His eyes glanced over at Ziva and he knew that she felt it too.

Although he didn't want to sound cliché, McGee missed the teasing from DiNozzo. It was too quiet around the bullpen; Gibbs barely came in—barely barking orders, and Tony was still in a coma. Ziva barely spoke unless she was addressed first. Abby was just Abby, the only normal thing around there. Well Ducky too, but his visits down to Ducky weren't as frequent as his trips to the lab were.

Abby was the only one that seemed to be able to express her sadness towards Tony's condition and still smile at the small victories in life. She would always be bouncing around her lab, listening to her music as she did her work. Abby would quickly run up to the bullpen whenever there was news of Tony, anything—big or small. And whenever she did, McGee couldn't help but wish that she'd just stay a little longer, most of the time ending with him offering a ride to the hospital.

Abby wasn't the only reason he went to the hospital, but it was the only way that made him go more than once in awhile. There was just something about DiNozzo's state of being that always managed to send shivers down his spine.

His thoughts were interrupted by the ding of the elevator, causing his head to look over his monitor. Two twin black ponytails bobbed out of the elevator and a smile crept across Tim's face.

Standing up quickly, McGee moved towards Abby. A bright smile was laid on top of her face as she stopped in between Ziva's desk and Tony's desk. Her eyes roamed the bullpen, ending on McGee, who was now standing close to her. He smiled at her, unsure of what had made her so happy.

Abby looked over at Ziva, who was still staring at her computer as if she hadn't seen Abby come in. Continuing to stare at Ziva, as though only addressing her, Abby told them the good news.

"Abby, that's great!" McGee hadn't been able to deal with the wait; all the waiting that Tony was putting him through was killing him. He was still waiting—as was everyone else—for Tony's health to improve and for him to finally awake. But he was also waiting to see what Gibbs' reaction would be. Everyone had reassured him that it was not his fault, that no one could have stopped DiNozzo; but there was still that waiting, that hoping that someone would just punish him for his wrong doing instead of allowing his conscience to eat him up inside. And McGee was expecting that person to be Gibbs.

Both Abby's and McGee's eyes traveled to Ziva, who had been silent. Even in McGee's deepest thoughts, he could always notice how withdrawn Ziva had been. "Ziva…"

"Yes?" Ziva looked up, as though she had been absorbed in her work. Her eyes flickered between McGee and Abby, looking dangerously impassive. Tim could tell that Abby was unnerved by Ziva's response, especially since Abby had been bothering everyone and anyone within earshot about Ziva. They were all worried about how she was feeling, but Ziva continued to play it as though nothing was wrong, as though everything was going fine inside her head. But she wasn't fooling them, or herself for that matter.

"Didn't you hear the good news?! Tony can breathe on his own now!"

"That's great!" Even with added happiness, they all could hear how hollow it sounded. Ziva, of course, wanted Tony to get better, but the thought of having him look at her, knowing that it was her fault he was hurt to begin with was eating her up. She loved him; she had finally been able to see that. And now, now it was too late. Plus, he had Kate to love. Ziva couldn't compare.

Abby looked over at McGee before asking Ziva, "Do you wanna come to the hospital with us?" She looked over at Tim, asking him mentally if he'd drive her. As always, he nodded his head in agreement. "I'm sure Tony would love for you to come."

Ziva's eyes widened as she searched around her desk with her fingers, looking for an excuse. "Uh, I still have—"

"Work?" Tim finished. "Ziva." He paused, looking to Abby for support. She nodded and grasped his hand. "There's nothing left to do. Why don't you just come to the hospital? I'm sure it would make Tony feel better. It would make you feel better."

She looked up at him, unbeknownst to them that Ziva was hiding the tears that threatened to destroy her 'I'm fine' attitude. _How could that ever make her feel better!? Nothing could! _As soon as Tony got better, she'd know that her place was lost in his least the place she hoped was in his heart, just for her. "I don't—"

"Ziva, you haven't gone to see him at all!" Abby almost yelled at her, annoyed that Ziva wouldn't want to be there for DiNozzo. There was no reason why Ziva couldn't see Tony. Tony would love to have Ziva by his side, no matter how comatose. Didn't they always say that someone in a coma could still hear what their loved ones were saying to them?

"Abby, I don't see how going would help him at all." Ziva turned away from Abby's stare, returning her own eyes to her computer. There was no way that you could win against an angry Abby. She always, somehow, got her way in the end. It was a little scary sometimes.

"And how couldn't it!? Tony might hear you if you talked to him!"

"And maybe he can't! What even makes you think he'd want me there?" Ziva stood up and moved away from the awestricken McGee and the stunned Abby. She left the bullpen as quickly as she could, trying to find somewhere she could just be by herself. No Abby or McGee there to pressure her into seeing Tony. No Gibbs or Ducky to send her a quick glance, noticing the bags under her eyes or weighted walk. Nothing to remind her of DiNozzo. Nothing to remind her of what she was missing, of what she had hurt.

* * *

McGee and Abby stepped out of the elevator, both of their faces a deeper shade of pink than their natural skin tone. They were both confused and ashamed of how Ziva left. How could they not see this before!? Shouldn't they have known that Ziva was hurting?

Abby pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number as she followed the sounds of McGee's footsteps towards the car. Quickly placing the phone to her ear as she stepped into the passenger seat, Abby awaited the gruff reply everyone got when calling Gibbs.

"Gibbs."

"Hey, Bossman." Even though she tried to sound fine, McGee and Abby knew that Gibbs could see there was something wrong. Abby had to force the sorrow out of her voice for the moment, but Gibbs always knew when something was up.

"Abbs?"

"It's Ziva."

"What did she do?"

Abby glanced at McGee who was pulling out of the parking space, but was still able to see Abby out of the corner of his eye. He nodded slightly and continued to drive, knowing that Gibbs would probably want to talk in person. "It's not so much what she did, than what…we did."

"Spit it out Abby."

"Well I asked Ziva to come with us to the hospital," Abby tried to speak as quickly as she could, which was pretty fast. She jumbled some words together, but Gibbs was able to make them out. "And when she didn't want to, I asked her why she didn't wanna come. Because ya know, normally people want to see someone to make sure their okay and stuff. But she just kept saying no and then she got really upset. And Gibbs, it's all my fault. I should have just let it go."

"Abbs. It's not your fault." Gibbs huffed slightly. "I have a feeling you want me to talk to her."

"Well your famous gut hasn't been wrong before."

"Alright." And Gibbs hung up on Abby. Although it was normally rude, Abby smiled, feeling better that Gibbs had relieved her of the idea that it was her fault. There was no way that Gibbs would lie to her. Under any circumstances, he would never lie. Never.


	6. Chapter 6: It's Time to Talk

A/N: Thanks for the comments! I'll try hard to get the next chapter up on Monday. I'm trying to make my updates faster!

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Chapter 6: It's Time to Talk

It was still a little strange when Kate was around. It hadn't been that many years, but it was enough for them to get used to not seeing her around. She had been replaced by Ziva, and although Abby loved them both the same, Ziva hadn't left her. But don't get Abby wrong, she loved Kate; but at that moment, she had to worry about Ziva.

"Hey, Abby." Kate's smile was still as bright as she remembered. Abby waved back and smiled, but turned back towards Gibbs. First, she needed to talk to Gibbs about Ziva, then she'd go see Tony and Kate.

"Gibbs," Abby lowered her voice. She felt that if she allowed anyone else to hear of Ziva's moment of weakness, her friend would know it instantly and be angry at her. Abby didn't want any negative energy at that moment. "You need to talk to Ziva."

"I know."

"She hasn't come to see Tony at all!" Abby flew her arms in the air for emphasis.

"I know."

"She's been 'working' for the past week, even though we don't have a case."

"I know."

"She doesn't even seem like the same person."

"Abby, I know."

Abby glared at her boss. "Well if you know all this, why haven't you spoken to her yet!?" She looked at his blue eyes. His lips parted as he began to respond, but Abby cut him off. "Why are you still here if you know this!? Go talk to Ziva now!" Abby pushed against Gibbs' chest gently, trying to push him towards the door. A smile graced Gibbs' face for a moment.

"I'm going, I'm going." Gibbs turned away and moved towards the hospital exit, throwing out the empty coffee cup. Oh God, he was going to need a few refills by the end of the day.

* * *

Ziva's fingers lingered upon DiNozzo's desk, wiping the thin layer of dust—almost impossible to see unless you were looking closely—that had now accumulated on top of it. It seemed like a lifetime since she had seen Tony sit behind it. She missed his smile, his jokes and teases, his pranks. But she also missed those times when Tony was deep at work, which didn't always come often. Ziva could remember watching him look at a case file, his back hunched in an uncomfortable position as his eyes roamed the pages.

A smile graced her face as she thought fondly upon him. But those were just memories, just hopes, nothing more. She couldn't kid herself with those ideas. There was nothing for her to take as her own. There was only loneliness.

She turned away from his desk and moved towards the elevator, peering out of the windows. It was dark, almost black. It seemed to fit the way she was feeling.

The elevator dinged before her finger hit the button and a shiver of fear ran up her spine. Who would be coming in at that hour?

The doors opened and Ziva's boss stood inside the elevator, a cup of coffee in his hand. Ziva hesitated, moving so that Gibbs could get out of the elevator, but he shook his head. Ziva gulped quietly, trying to ignore the feelings she was feeling. Apprehension. Panic. Fear.

She stepped into the elevator and stood next to Gibbs, facing the closing doors. _I wonder how much money he spends on coffee alone._ Gibbs' finger hit a button, and Ziva waited for him to stop the elevator all together. She awaited the meeting in his office.

Ziva didn't have to wait long. Between floors 2 and 3, the elevator was stopped. Gibbs stood there for a moment, waiting for Ziva to make the first move as she normally did. But not this time.

This time, she stared straight and waited for the head slap to come, or anything, but a conversation about Tony…or her feelings.

"Ziva we need to talk."

No answer.

Gibbs sighed; these things could never work themselves out, could they? Feelings, definitely not something he was good at showing. But to try and help someone with their own feelings? That was like expecting DiNozzo to stop making movie references. Inconceivable.

"Maybe you should go see DiNozzo."

"Why?" Ziva bit out. It was harsher than she had wanted it, but it held the anger she felt towards the idea. It was her fault he was there.

Gibbs was a little shocked by the tone of her voice, but his face stayed impassive. He wasn't about to let her know how he felt about the matter. "Because it would be good for the both of you."

Ziva turned to look at Gibbs, staring straight into his eyes. She hated it when he just made statements as if they were obvious. Gibbs always had a way of just saying something and making it sound as if it meant nothing. But this time, this time, it meant more to Ziva than he knew.

"How would that help Tony!? How would that help at all!?" She was fuming, if one more person asked her to go to the hospital she was about to use her knife in the most creative ways she could think of. And this talk with Gibbs, definitely wasn't helping.

"Ziva—" Gibbs was about to exhaustedly badger Ziva into going to visit Tony when his phone ring. He wasn't sure which one of them was more relieved. Gibbs was saved from the agitated responses from Ziva, which was starting to fuel his temper. There was no way that Ziva would be able to face him when he was truly angry. But Ziva was also saved from listening to Gibbs try to guilt trip her into going to see Tony. It seemed like a win-win situation, at least for the moment.

"Gibbs." There was silence as Ziva's boss stared at the elevator door as if the person he was talking to on the phone was standing in front of him. He nodded softly.

"Abby slow down." Ziva's eyes glanced over at Gibbs and back at the elevator door. She just didn't want to be there anymore. Ziva's fingers started to itch, wanting to flip the switch that would allow her to escape her boss's office. But obviously, Gibbs would stop her before she had the chance.

Gibbs reached forward and hit the switch that Ziva had wanted to hit herself. She blinked, unsure of what she had seen. Hearing the phone snap shut, she looked over at the silver-haired agent and questioned him with her eyes.

Without looking at her, Gibbs spoke, "Tony's awake."

* * *

Abby was sitting on Tony's bed, making sure she wasn't sitting on anything that would be important for Tony's recovery. She looked at McGee who was sitting on the other bed—Gibbs' bed. He was just watching, a frown upon his face. Glaring slightly at him, she silently reprimanded him for thinking negative thoughts. Abby had no idea how many times she had said that, but there was always someone who wasn't thinking positively.

She looked at Kate who was sitting in the chair next to Tony, her eyes still tired even though she had been asleep early. She found that she could only get a few hours of sleep before waking up and wanting to check on DiNozzo. There was just something that would always keep her awake.

Abby settled herself into a more comfortable position, placing her head on Tony's legs—placing her arms between her head and his legs. She looked out the door, watching as the hospital staff walked past, trying to save as many people as they could. Abby wished they'd be able to make Tony wake up. There just wasn't the same happiness around anymore. There never was when DiNozzo was 'gone'.

An almost inaudible sound escaped Tony's lips, but it seemed to be only Kate who noticed it. She leaned in closer, grabbing hold of his hand. Her eyes rested upon his lips as she watched them move apart and back together. Still the word was impossible to hear.

Her ear was almost against his lips as she listened carefully. Kate's heart leaped with the aspect of DiNozzo waking up. She wanted to see those green eyes again. There was nothing she wanted more than to see them, hear his voice, hear her name escape those lips.

But she still couldn't hear him.

She backed her head away, hoping to see his eyes open. She didn't know what she was saying, but she was hoping it would be her name. She hoped that this was a sign that he was waking up. Kate couldn't bare to see him like this any longer.

She squeezed his hand, before letting it fall back upon his bed. McGee, noticing Kate's change in appearance—she now looked a little excited—, moved closer. He looked from DiNozzo to Kate, confused about what had happened.

Abby, who was completely oblivious to what Kate and McGee were doing, continued to lay on Tony's legs. She felt a little bit connected to him, at least more than she had lately. It felt as though he was miles away even when he was only a few feet away. There was nothing there, no Tony at least.

She could feel finger tips brush against the top of her head. Abby looked up assuming it was McGee, but instead Tony's hand lay next to her head. She quickly moved to her elbows and then propped herself into a sitting position. As she sat there, she smiled as she looked into the sleepy, dull green eyes of her friend. Although they didn't hold the same brightness that she was used to, Abby could still see Tony in there.

Abby barely heard McGee go tell a nurse to get a doctor. She just continued to stare at her friend, who was slowly smiling at her. She noticed the slow movement of his lips, his request for water. His throat must be sore from the respirator and not swallowing for over a week. There seemed to be a slight pause in time where everything was slowly righting itself.

Kate grabbed the cup of water next to his bed—straw at the ready—and placed it to his lips. "Small sips Tony." She noticed the look of surprise on his face and how he blinked as he looked at her. She smiled at him even though his expression still stuck.

Once Ton finished Kate heard McGee's voice, "Abby."

Abby turned to look at McGee, who was now handing her a cell phone, "Call Gibbs." She nodded her head before dialing and turning back to Tony.


	7. Chapter 7: Ziva's Arrival

A/N: *Glares at chapter* I had a really hard time writing this chapter. Mostly just the ending of it. I had major writer's block and then I rewrote it a few times. So I hope this isn't complete crap. Thanks again for all the comments and story alerts!

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Chapter 7: Ziva's Arrival

There was no getting out of it now. She was sitting there, in Gibbs' car, on the way to the hospital. Hearing those words escape Gibbs' lips, _"Tony's awake"_; it was like a weight was lifting off of her. She followed Gibbs blindly to his car. Something inside of her was telling her no, trying to stop her from visiting Tony, but her heart was telling her otherwise. And at that moment, her heart was winning.

The car ride was a blur as the Speed Racer-like driving of Leroy Jethro Gibbs came to a stop in the hospital parking lot. The older agent got out of the car and wasted no time making his way towards the door. Although she didn't notice, Gibbs spared her a few glances, making sure she was following—even though there was a large distance in between.

Although Ziva had only been to Tony's room once—not even in his room, outside his room—she seemed to remember where she had to go. Her feet stepped into the beat as they brought her to Tony's room at the same time as Gibbs. She peered into the room and noticed a doctor standing over the bed, blocking her view of the occupant of the room.

Gibbs moved into the room and stood next to Abby. "Well it's about time DiNozzo." Even from where Ziva was standing, she could see the smile that was laid upon her boss's face. The rest of the team was there as well: Abby, McGee, and Ducky. Even Kate was there, and Ziva was not. A pang of guilt hit her stomach as she realized that maybe her actions were not the wisest.

"Hello to you too Boss." The voice was low and raspy. It was hard to hear, but Ziva could hear his voice as though it was clear as day. It drew her in, but still her feet did not move. She stood outside the door and peered in, almost like a starving person looking upon a family eating a turkey dinner.

"Well Special Agent DiNozzo, that'll be all for now." The doctor turned to the rest of the gang. "Don't excite him too much, he still needs to rest." And with that the doctor left the room, moving swiftly past Ziva.

DiNozzo's eyes had been following the doctor as he left the room, allowing his eyes to fall upon Ziva. He smiled at her, although his eyes were still not fully opened. He invited her into the room with a nod of his head. She moved into the room, but only slightly, causing Tony's eyebrows to crease.

"_Zee-vah_, what's wrong?" This time it was barely a whisper, more the movement of his lips than anything, but Ziva had to smile as he overly pronounced her name in the playful way he usually did.

As the others stared at her, she felt her face flush with embarrassment. What _was_ wrong with her?

"Jethro, why don't we get some coffee?" Although Ducky never drank coffee, he still offered it to Gibbs who every much took him up on the offer. He needed some more coffee in his system, and he happily obliged to Ducky's excuse to leave Ziva and Tony alone.

"McGee, wanna get something to eat?" Abby asked before grabbing his arm and moving towards the door, not even waiting for an answer.

"Kate, you wanna come?" McGee asked harmlessly.

Kate's eyes turned to Tony, who was still staring at Ziva—with an almost unnatural sense of awareness. Her eyes saddened as the moment she had been waited for was no where near her expectations. Slowly she moved her attention back to McGee and Abby and nodded, moving towards them both. She took a glance over her shoulder at Tony before exiting the door, wondering if she would have the one man she truly loved.

* * *

Everyone filed out of the room, and Tony suddenly felt tired again. He felt too weak to even move his arm, only being able to wiggle his fingers. His head throbbed and his chest and stomach were on fire, but he wasn't about to tell them that. Between his ignorant belief of hiding his pain—believing it a weakness—and his apprehension towards any kind of pain medication, Tony just shook his head slightly at the mention of medication.

Accompanied with these aches and pains, DiNozzo was completely confused as to how this all happened. Abby had been rambling—extremely fast for his aching head—about how happy she was that he was awake after all that time. But he had no idea how long it had been or why he was even in the hospital. McGee gave him a smile and patted his shoulder as though that said it all—which it didn't. He could see the worry leave his friend's eyes, but kept that information to himself, at least for the time being. Ducky had arrived only a few moments before Gibbs and left just as abruptly.

The strange thing was Kate was standing next to him and Ziva was no where to be found. He hadn't seen Kate in over two years—at least he thought so—and her goodbye was anything but a goodbye. She just up and left, and now she was standing there, watching him. There was a sense of pleasure in that knowledge. He had loved Kate, but did he still? Her departure had created a sore hole in his heart, but had that healed with the arrival of Ziva?

Which led to his next problem. What was wrong with Ziva?

He cocked an eyebrow at her—the one that did not have the healing bullet wound only a few inches above it—knowing that his voice wouldn't carry with the loud steps she was taking as she paced the small room. Tony could tell her eyes had moved towards him at every turn, but she seemed to ignore him. "Ziva." His voice was almost nonexistent.

Her eyes traveled over to his face, taking in all the tired lines around his eyes, the pale features, and the lack of body movement. Her heart ached as she took in everything that she had done to him. This was all her fault and what could she do about it? She should just leave and let him be. It would make everything fine.

Ziva turned towards the door and started for it until a hoarse, quiet voice reached her ears. "Don't!" She turned to look at the owner of the weak voice and noticed that DiNozzo was now sitting up. Almost as quickly as surprise hit her at his sudden movement, he fell back against the pillow. His eyes lay shut, but his lips continued to move. "Don't," seemed to be the only thing that would exit them.

She looked upon him in panic and quickly shook his shoulders slightly, trying not to jar any of his injuries. Eyes fluttering, Tony slowly came back to her again. A smile graced her face as he stared at her.

A fear had run through DiNozzo again, causing him to grab hold of Ziva's arm. The fear of abandonment. Everyone he loved had left him—his family, Kate—and this time, he wasn't about to let Ziva leave. It was just too many people for him to lose.

His green eyes looked up at her, pleading with her silently. Almost as if she could read his mind, she nodded. Tony squinted his eyes shut as a wave of pain hit his head. The sudden movement of a few moments ago had some repercussions. Ziva was about to move towards the door, to call a nurse about some pain meds, but was stopped by DiNozzo's firm grip. Although Ziva could move her arm and unlatch herself from the weak man, his determination to hold on to her was enough to make his grip iron tight.

Instead, she reached above his head and pushed the call button and waited for the nurse to arrive. Taking a seat next to Tony on the bed, Ziva watched as the nurse came, left, and came back again with some pain relievers.

After they were administered and the nurse left Tony and Ziva's eyes meet once again. "Ziva," his lips were the only thing that allowed her to understand him, "What happened?"

A shiver ran down her spine as she wished he hadn't asked that question. She had been thinking about what she would say if this ever happened, although she was hoping it wouldn't. Ziva wondered if she should just confess to her faults and allow him to feel the anger she deserved.

DiNozzo continued to watch his partner as she seemed to consider the question deeply. What was there to really think about? He wanted to know why he was laying in a hospital bed.

His eyes moved towards the cup of water next to him. His throat still hurt pretty badly, although he doubted that any amount of water would help that. The pain in his chest was lessening—becoming a little more bearable—, but the pull of sleep was still the same, almost greater. He tried to ignore it, but it was only a matter of time before he fell back to sleep.

Tony looked up to see Ziva looking at him; as he smiled quickly he turned back to the cup of water. Reaching his arm towards it he realized that he could barely get it to hover over the bed. His eyes widened at the slight set back—fearing immobility.

After quickly going over the inventory of his limps—and finding that he could at least move them slightly—DiNozzo turned back towards Ziva who had moved next to him, the cup in her hand. She placed the straw on his lips and Tony's cheeks flushed red. It was embarrassing to have Ziva—or any of his co-workers—do this for him; he wasn't a child.

His eyes started to drift shut, although he tried to keep them awake. Ziva placed the cup back upon the table and sat next to Tony. Her fingers raked through his hair, making small invisible circles on his head. The last thing DiNozzo saw before he drifted off into oblivion was Ziva's smile.

* * *

"_Tony!" He could hear his name being shouting by McGee, but he ignored him. Shooting wildly towards the perps, Tony ran towards the large wooden box only a few feet away. If he could draw their fire away from the team, maybe—just maybe—he would distract them long enough for the others to take them out. _

"_DiNozzo!" Gibbs was yelling at him, but there was no way he could turn back now. Tony's feet hit the ground hard as he was just about to reach cover again. His finger continued to pull the trigger although there was nothing left, only the resounding clicks._

_Something hit him hard. He fell to his knees and then onto his back as he felt the pain explode in his chest and head. The warm liquid that oozed from his head wound started to run down the side of his face as his vision started to blur. "DiNozzo!"_

_Suddenly everything seemed to leave him. His eyes fell shut and he allowed himself to fall into the abyss of unconsciousness. _

* * *

It hadn't been long after Tony had fallen asleep that Ziva wasn't alone anymore. As she looked upon his sleeping form, Ziva didn't even notice when Kate came back in. Ziva just couldn't believe that she had ever left Tony. She wanted to kick herself for never coming to see him, for not being there for him. Damnit, she was selfish!

Kate stood behind Ziva, staring at Tony. She could smell the hamburger in the bag that she was holding. Abby had shoved it at her and told her to bring it to Ziva, although Kate wasn't sure why Abby couldn't do it herself. She wondered if Ziva even liked it since it sounded more like something Tony would eat.

Finally realizing the silent guest behind her, Ziva turned around, taking in the somewhat shy presence of Kate. Before Ziva had gotten a sense of a determination and stubbornness from the woman, but now she was unsure. Maybe it was because Ziva had taken up the spot next to Tony.

Reaching out her hand, Ziva went to shake Kate's hand, about to introduce herself. Instead, Kate just placed the bag of fast food in Ziva's stretched out hand and leaned her back against the wall, staring at Tony, but not wanting to get into Ziva's personal space. She wasn't exactly sure how the woman would react to her interruption, but now that Tony had woken up, why in the hell would she leave him?

Ziva placed the bag on the nightstand next to Tony's bed. She stood up, composing herself quickly, and tried to introduce herself again. Stretching out her hand, she spoke with a forced smile, "Ziva David."

"Kate Todd." Kate took Ziva's hand and smiled too, although Ziva noticed that Kate's eyes kept moving back towards DiNozzo's sleeping form. Releasing Kate's almost limp hand, Ziva sat back down. She looked at Tony, and the silence hung heavy in the air. Ziva felt like she needed to talk to Kate, especially if she wanted to see if Kate had the same feelings for Tony as she was sure Tony had and quite possibly still has for Kate.

But what was there even to say? How do you really start a conversation with a person you don't even know, only what was in their file (which was pretty extensive in some areas)? Especially a person that may be in love with the same man as you.

"Kate…" she paused, unsure of what she should say. "How long have you known Tony?"

Kate blinked at Ziva, her facing going blank. It was definitely not the reaction Ziva had expected. She was assuming she'd give a quick number before completely ignoring her again. Grant you, Kate wasn't expecting that question. And even if she had, what would she even say? She had known Tony for 2 years before she left. But does she count the years she's been gone? She still knows Tony, right? "I worked with him for 2 years."

Ziva nodded, looking back at Tony. It was strange talking about him when he was lying right there. "Was he always this reckless?"

Kate turned her attention to Ziva for a moment, who was still looking at Tony. She hadn't even thought about how Tony's current state had affected the woman. She hadn't come by the hospital room the entire time Tony was in the coma, but could she really blame her? There really wasn't a time that Kate didn't want to grab hold of Tony and shake him, yelling at him to wake up.

"Yeah." She felt herself slump against the wall a little heavier. "He had a habit of putting himself in harm's way for others. It pissed Gibbs off." She let a soft chuckle escape her lips. _Pissed me off too._ "After he got the plague…" she paused slightly. "Abby suggested placing him in a protective bubble."

Ziva laughed at her friend's idea, although it wouldn't even be able to keep DiNozzo from harm. He just seemed to find it. Even through the laughter, Ziva had noticed the look upon Kate's face after the plague was mentioned. Ziva hadn't seen how bad Tony was, but from the look that Kate wore, she knew it had to be bad. "Tony's always getting into trouble."

"Yeah, well, the 'DiNozzo charm' doesn't come without a price."

Ziva cocked an eyebrow, smiling as she remembered the multiple times Tony had used his 'charm'. She turned to look at Kate and she wore a mirrored smile, staring at Tony. Ziva's suspicions were correct about Kate's feelings, and she knew that she couldn't be upset if things did not go her way. Kate seemed like a nice enough woman.

"Do you think he'll ever stop being juvenile?" Ziva asked, trying to make conversation through the only thing they had in common. If Ziva was talking to anyone else that had normally come into the room, she would have been able to talk about almost anything, but Kate was a total stranger. She had no idea what she was really like.

"Tony?" Kate let out a laugh. "He's always going to be a kid. It's annoying, but cute at the same time."

"Almost like a puppy." Ziva added before she realized what she said. Did she just compare Tony to a puppy?

"Yeah, like an energetic puppy that likes to be the center of attention." Kate stared at Ziva and even with her profiling skills, Kate wasn't 100% positive, but she could feel that there was something between the two partners. She wondered about Gibbs' rules. Especially number 12. Would he really allow them to be together?

There was a strange feeling. It was jealousy, but also understanding. She couldn't really be mad at the woman for falling in love with the same man she was in love with, but there was still a little sense of competition boiling inside her.

"Ziva…" Kate didn't want to be so blunt, but she had to ask. "Do you love him?"

* * *

Tony drifted towards consciousness, but he was just so tired. He didn't want to wake up, but he didn't want to dream either. Although he guessed it wasn't really dreaming, more like remembering. Either way, both of his options displeased him. Although there was some encouragement towards the waking.

The smell of a cheeseburger met his nose, and he could feel himself smiling. There were soft voices, but they weren't loud enough for him to hear. Nor did he really care. God, he was hungry. And hospital food sure as hell wasn't going to help him out of his starved state.

Peeking his left eye open slightly he saw the greasy bag next to his head. He tried to lift his left arm, but he felt so tired. He was weak to begin with, but added with the tiredness, he was just lost.

Tony concentrated hard on his arm, although it still felt slightly numb—like he'd been sleeping on it for some time. He felt it slide across the sheets, nearing the edge. His smile disappeared as he concentrated. He got his hand into the air, opening both of his eyes.

The voices stopped in the background, but he didn't give a crap, he was set on getting that cheeseburger. His hand hit the table the bag was on and he almost yelled in excitement and triumph. _It smelt so good!_

As quickly as his excitement hit him, it was taken away. He opened both of his eyes only halfway since they refused to rise any higher. Tony could see the bag hanging in Ziva's hand, as both Ziva and Kate smiled down at him. _"I hate you,"_ Tony mouthed at them. He tried to glare at them, but his eyelids were too heavy.

He fell back to sleep, without even noticing the conversation that had been passed between the two woman in the room.

* * *

Ziva was almost too glad for Tony's interruption, saving her from answering Kate's question. But as soon as he fell back to sleep, he could see Kate's eyes upon her again. There wasn't any avoiding it now.

Or was there?

As Ziva stared at Kate, mouth slightly agape as she began her answer, Gibbs strolled into the room, cup of coffee in his hand. He looked at the two women sitting in the room. His blue eyes passed between the two of them before saying, "Go home. It's late and I need you," he turned his stare towards Ziva, "ready for work tomorrow morning." He then turned to Kate. "And you need to get some real sleep, in your own home."

As if both of the women were being sent to their room by their father, they left the room. Kate was disappointed that she couldn't see Tony anymore and that she didn't find out what Ziva's answer was. Ziva, on the other hand, was happy to get out there, before she was forced to answer Kate. Would she lie? Or would she just tell her the truth?

Ziva was just happy that she didn't have to worry about that. All she had to do was get home and sleep easy, knowing that Tony was there waiting.

* * *

A/N: I just finished the first part of a big project for my English class and we've got break coming up, so hopefully I can get chapters up quicker!


	8. Chapter 8: Go with your Gut

A/N: Alright, so I've finally decided which one's gonna win Tony's heart (and sadly it is not a Tita, Ziny-DiNozzo). There should only be two or three more chapters. And hopefully I can get them done quickly. I hope you guys are still enjoying this.

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Chapter 8: Go with your Gut

Tony scratched his head, happy that his arm was able to be moved that far—although the other was immobilized in a sling. The bandage on his head had been removed, only leaving a scar and an area of missing hair. His fingers prodded it softly although he still winced at the pain.

Gibbs' hand swatted his hand away from his head with a chuckle. DiNozzo was back.

"Boss," his voice had returned, but it still wasn't as strong as it normally was. "Do ya think it'll grow back?" His fingers returned to the area, touching it with cautious fingers.

"Not if you don't stop touching it." Gibbs felt like he was taking care of a child, not his senior field agent. Although his senior field agent was a child at times.

Tony's hands fell to his lap. "So, when can I go?"

"Not for awhile DiNozzo."

"That's kinda cryptic Boss." DiNozzo looked up at the silver haired man and received a glare in return. He expected that much. "Well could you at least sneak me a burger?" After a moments thought, "Or a pizza. With pep—"

_Smack._ The head slaps usually stung slightly and always sounded worse than they truly were, but this time it was much lighter, although the point still rang loud and clear. "Shutting up Boss." Tony's face slowly unscrunched itself from the facial expression he always had when receiving a stark slap to the back of the head. A smile lit up Gibbs' face as he saw his agent's reaction. Oh, Tony was definitely back.

They turned their attention back to the movie they had been watching. Abby had stopped by with McGee who had given Tony a portable DVD player, along with some of his favorite movies. DiNozzo wasn't quite sure where they got the DVD player, but he wasn't going to question it since he was already bored out of his mind, and he had been awake for less than 7 hours straight.

Tony's stomach grumbled silently as he continued to think about all the food he'd rather be eating. His eyes traveled to Gibbs' face and back to the movie, there was no way that Gibbs would get him something worth eating. And there was a slight sickening feeling at the thought of Kate getting him something to eat. She had left only a few moments ago, but the idea of healthy food wasn't too appetizing, nor was the food the hospital supplied.

Gibbs' cell phone rang, drawing both their attentions towards it. Looking at the ID he answered it the way he usually did. "Gibbs."

Tony felt a moment of annoyance, knowing that they probably had a case. The team got to go and actually do work, while he just sat in the hospital room, watching movies. DiNozzo wasn't even in the mood to flirt with any of the nurses.

"Alright." Gibbs hung up the phone without speaking more than those two words. He stood up and looked down at his agent. He could see the longing and annoyance on his face, but there wasn't anything he could do.

Gibbs moved towards the door and noticed Kate coming down the hallway. At least DiNozzo had someone to talk to or at least watch a movie with him. Before completely leaving the room, Gibbs turned around. "Stay."

Tony smiled to him. Where was there to go anyway? He'd probably pass out before he found the elevator. Although he'd never admit to it.

* * *

DiNozzo smiled at Kate's arrival, her face beaming as she carried bags in her arms. She dropped them onto the table next to him before slowing pulling the contents out. Vegetables and sushi. Tony's eyes widened as he wished he'd be able to disobey Gibbs' orders. _God, I'd kill for something greasy._

He tried not to look disappointed, but something hit his nose, causing him to snap his head towards Kate. Bad idea. Black spots danced in front of his eyes as a pain seemed to run from his eyes to the back of his head and then back again.

In Kate's hands was a wrapped up, large cheeseburger, which would have made his mouth water if his throat still wasn't sore. It smelt just like the one he'd woken up to a few nights ago. She unwrapped it, allowing him to see the giant burger in all its glory, just the way he liked it. "Oh Katie."

She turned to look at him and smiled, "I knew you'd like it." DiNozzo sat up straighter and stretched his arms, trying not to pull the IV out of his arm in the process. His arms and legs were getting tight from just laying around all the time. The nurses had come in and would rotate his limps while he was in a coma, but they were still pretty tight.

Kate moved the over-bed table towards Tony and placed the burger on top of it. "I had to hide it at the bottom of the bag, so it's probably even more disgusting than usual." Although it was squished and oozing multiple condiments, Tony stared at it as if it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Quickly shoving the burger into his face, taking a large bite, DiNozzo tried to smile in the process, which just ended up getting a piece of ketchup covered pickle on himself. The hospital gown he was wearing was now stained red, which didn't particularly bother Tony—he would rather be in one of his designer suits or just a plain T-shirt instead of the gown—but Kate immediately got to her feet and went over to the bag she had brought. Taking napkins out of it, she moved back towards DiNozzo and tried to rub the stain out. Tony stared at her, with a smile.

She looked at him and cocked an eyebrow, stopping her action. "What? No sexual jokes?"

DiNozzo didn't answer, but continued to stare at her. There was something that still bothered Tony, and this was his chance to find out why. "Why did you leave Kate?"

Kate involuntarily moved back slightly, a little bit of shock at the question, but mostly out of sheer denial that anyone would care that she had left. She turned towards the DVD player for a moment, just noticing that it had been playing.

She moved her lips to speak, but Tony cut her off. "Don't avoid it. I need to know."

She closed her mouth and then reopened it. "I was gonna say that it wasn't important."

"That's avoiding the question."

"Is not."

"No Kate." Her face fell as her attempt to start the game they used to play was denied. "Why did you leave? Did I really bother you that much?" _Was the love I felt for you all a waste? All a lie? Is it still a lie?_

"No. Not at all Tony." Kate clicked the DVD off and moved it towards the end of the bed. Sitting next to his legs, she continued. "You were a little juvenile, sexist, and chauvinistic at times—"

"Thanks Kate."

"_But_," she leaned in closer. "You were also smart and kind. Just in a slightly obnoxious way."

She didn't notice how deeply he took this. Was it really his fault she left? Did they really just find him annoying? His face never faltered, but he continued to stare at her. He wanted the truth.

Kate didn't want to lie to him. Technically he was the reason she left, but not for the reasons he thought. She loved him, still did, and that's why she left. Kate never meant to hurt him; she just tried to keep her feelings at bay.

"That still doesn't answer the question." Tony's eyes fluttered as the toll of staying awake was getting too great. He refused to give in though; he wouldn't let Kate get away that easily.

"What do you want me to say Tony?" Kate placed her hands in her lap, not sure of what she should do. Should she let her heart led the way and just tell him? There was always that chance that he didn't feel the same.

"I want you to tell me why you left. It's that simple."

"No, it's not that simple!" She couldn't deal with it anymore. She leaned forward, _"Tony I love you."_ But for some reason those words wouldn't exit her lips. It was almost as if she had lost her voice. She frowned at this event and looked at DiNozzo.

DiNozzo continued to stare at her, his best impression of Gibbs' glare—which had been getting pretty good as the years past—plastered upon his face. Folding his arms, he tried to make a point, although it was a little clumsy since the IV was threatening to pop out of his vein.

"Huh," Kate breathed and looked away for a moment. Maybe she should just go with her gut. Turning back to Tony, she leaned forward again and planted a much longed for kiss upon his lips.

* * *

DiNozzo's eyes widened as he realized what had just happened, a moment where he wasn't sure if he should fight it or not. Closing his eyes, he allowed the kiss to happen, wanting to reach forward and pull Kate on top of him. His IV-free hand reached up and grabbed the back of her head, entangling itself in her hair. It was as silky as he had thought it would have felt.

Kate pulled away and looked into his eyes; both of their minds were going through a roller coaster of feelings. A smile grew upon Tony's face, quickly followed by a relieved smile on Kate's face. It was a daring thing, but it had paid off.

A yawn escaped Tony's lips as his eyes fluttered again, but he fought to stay awake. He wanted to see where Kate's lips could take him.

Kate's hand rested upon his forehead and pushed his hair backwards. Smiling upon him, she said, "Go to sleep."

Her words were the last thing DiNozzo heard before he fell asleep.

* * *

Ziva walked out of the elevator with the bag of evidence for Abby. The music from the lab was overwhelming before you even reached the door, but the team had been used to it. It was the only way Abby could work. "Abby!"

Abby continued to bob to the beat of the music, ignoring Ziva. "ABBY!" Abby turned around and smiled at Ziva.

"Hey Ziva! Whatcha got for me!?" she screamed over the music. Ziva dropped the bag of evidence on the table and moved towards the other room. Unlike Gibbs, Ziva only lowered it slightly—enough so that they did not have to scream at each other to communicate.

"Gibbs wants to know if you can get any DNA off of the Petty Officer's clothes."

"Gotcha." Abby started to open up the evidence bag when she noticed that Ziva was still standing there. Looking up at her friend, Abby asked, "Is everything okay?"

Ziva opened her mouth, but closed it almost immediately. She slammed her arms against her side as she sighed, "I don't know."

Abby grabbed her chair and wheeled it over to Ziva, telling her without words to take a seat. Once Ziva was seated, Abby moved back towards the evidence bag—knowing that she would be able to help Ziva and get results for Gibbs. "So what's eating you?"

"Tony." That was the only word that was spoken, causing Abby to stop what she was doing and look at her. She moved towards Ziva and cocked an eyebrow at her.

"What about Tony?"

"I don't know." She did know, actually. Ziva just didn't know how to tell Abby, but she felt like she could, like she _had_ to tell someone.

Abby laughed, "Ziva, you're in love." After another moment. "With Tony."

Ziva looked up and blinked at her in confusion. Was it really that obvious? "What?"

"Come on Ziva. You can't resist the DiNozzo charm."

"But Abby how do you know?"

"I knew as soon as I found you in the bathroom." Abby returned to the evidence bag and started to pull out the contents.

Ziva knew that Abby probably noticed her unsettled appearance, but how could she have figured out that she was in love with Tony? She, herself, had barely known that. Although, Abby did seem to know more about other people than they did themselves sometimes.

"What do I do?"

Abby furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Ziva in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"What am I supposed to do? Obviously Tony loves Kate. I should just—"

Abby cut her off, moving towards her—her lab coat flapping behind her like a cape. "Oh, Ziva. You can't just let him go. If you truly love him like I know you do, then you have to tell him."

"No, I can't tell him."

"He's not gonna bite…unless you're into that kind of thing. I had this boyfriend once that…nevermind." She realized that going into one of her stories—like Ducky often did—wasn't going to help Ziva. "If you don't tell him, you may lose him."

Ziva looked up at her friend and nodded. Finding a new motivation. Losing Tony wasn't an option.

* * *

"Go home," Gibbs ordered his agents. Usually he would have made them stay later, but he wanted to go see DiNozzo. His agent would be climbing up the walls by now without someone to distract him, although he hoped that Kate had kept him occupied all day. If not, then the doctors and nurses would be the ones to see DiNozzo at his most annoying. "I expect you back her at 0600."

Ziva seemed to rush out of the bullpen, while McGee collected his stuff at a more normal pace—although it was still fast, so if Gibbs decided to change his mind, McGee would be out the door by then.

Gibbs clicked off his computer and finally his lamp after seeing his two agents leave. He figured that McGee was going downstairs to see Abby, but he wasn't sure where Ziva was going. Not too long again, she was holed up in the bullpen, keeping herself occupied; but now she was a little too eager to get out of there.

Shrugging it off, he stepped into the elevator, getting ready to take a shower and relieve Kate of babysitting Tony.

* * *

Ziva got to the hospital in record time—although she knew that Gibbs would probably be able to get their faster. Making her way towards DiNozzo's room, she wondered what she was going to say. She couldn't just bust into the room saying, _"I love you Tony." _But there was no real opening line for this kind of thing, at least not to her knowledge.

She hit the door to DiNozzo's room and stopped as she noticed Kate sleeping in the chair next to Tony. Usually that was Gibbs' chair, but not at that moment. "_Zee-vah!"_

Ziva looked towards the man she had raced there to see. A smile was on his face as he saw her come in, but his voice had been soft as to not wake Kate. He motioned for her to come in, but she wasn't sure where she should sit. She stepped into the room and moved next to his bed.

She was now towering over him, which neither of them where used to. Tony patted the bed next to him, and she thankfully took the seat. Alright, that was a good start. Now she just had to find the words she needed. But having Kate in the room, sleeping or not, made it difficult. She felt like they should be alone for this. Maybe in a restaurant with a candle lit dinner, like she had seen in some of the movies she had watched, not in a hospital with the woman Tony may or may not have loved sleeping a few feet away.

"She's been asleep for awhile." Tony said conversationally. He looked over at Kate, but turned back to Ziva. He knew that must have been an awkward statement for someone who didn't even know the other woman. "So how's the case going?"

Well that's definitely not the right direction they needed to be going. "The case? Uh," her mind went blank for a moment as she wondered what she should do. She could tell him about the case and talk about work the entire time, completely going far away from where she wanted the conversation to go. Or she could just flat out tell him how she felt. Decisions, decisions.

"Ziva?"

"MmmMMmmm," Kate moaned slightly as she stirred. Her eyes fluttered open and smiled as she noticed Tony staring at her. Ziva grimaced slightly, but recovered quickly. No one noticed her annoyance at the interruption.

"Ziva?" Gibbs' voice came from the doorway. _Damnit, another distraction._ He moved into the room and cocked an eyebrow at Ziva. She huffed in annoyance as a response. If telling Tony that she loved him was what she was supposed to do, then why was it so damn hard to actually do it?

"Gibbs." Tony and Kate spoke, one out of excitement and one out of annoyance. Tony was happy that he'd finally get some more visitors. Kate had fallen asleep while he was asleep, but he woke up. After about a half an hour of watching Kate sleep, Tony slowly became bored. There was no stopping it.

Kate, on the other hand, did not like when Gibbs came. Normally that meant that he would kick her out—telling her that she needed some real sleep and a hot shower. But she didn't want to leave Tony; there was nothing she wanted more than to be with him.

Gibbs looked at the clock that sat next to Tony's head, on the table, and looked back at Kate. It was about 8:15. She had been there for more than 12 hours. "Kate, I think it's time for you to head out."

She grumbled incoherently, but got to her feet. She leaned in and kissed Tony on the cheek before leaving. No matter how many times she fought with Gibbs, Kate couldn't disobey one of his orders. Damn she hated him when he acted like that!

* * *

Okay, well Kate was gone, but now Ziva had to deal with Gibbs. And don't think Kate's little kiss was left unnoticed. Ziva's cheeks flared at the action, but she was able to disguise it.

God, it was getting difficult to tell DiNozzo her feelings. Gibbs took the seat that Kate had just vacated. He yawned slightly. "Boss, you forgot your 8 o' clock coffee?"

Gibbs glared at DiNozzo's remark, but he got up. He moved towards the door as he grumbled something that sounded like 'smartass'.

Success! Now Ziva just had to tell him how she felt and they'd be in the clear!

"What were we talking about before?"

"Tony. I need to tell you something." She inched forward on the bed, getting closer to him. She leaned back against the bed board, lying shoulder to shoulder with Tony.

"Yea?" Tony cocked an eyebrow in question, turning his head to look at her. He could feel his heart skip a beat as he realized how much he cared for Ziva. But was it really love? Or just lust? Didn't he love Kate? Oh God, this was getting confusing!

"Tony…" She didn't know what to say. "I love you."

There was silence in the room after that remark. She looked away, not wanting to see the look of amusement on his face. She didn't want to see him laugh at her for being so naïve. There was no way he felt the same way about her as she did for him. Why did she ever listen to Abby? She just made the biggest mistake of her life!

"Ziva…" He reached his hand around and grabbed her chin, turning her head to look at him. Tony had no idea what he was doing. Did he love her? Or did he love Kate? Hearing Ziva say those three words made him question everything. He had thought that he loved Kate, but now, now everything was different. Now he was confused again. Who did he truly love?

"Tony." Her voice was so soft, so seductive, but still the same as it always had been. His eyes lingered on her face, outlining the lines in her face as if it was the first time he had seen it. He could smell the scent of her skin, and, even with the added hospital smells, it was better than anything he had ever smelt before.

There was an overwhelming urge to kiss her, but would he really kiss two girls in one day? Apparently, Tony would.

* * *

"Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs." Abby came running down the hallway towards her boss and almost tackled him in the process. Her heels clanked against the floor as she ran, catching everyone's attention as she went. McGee was a few paces behind her, not wanting to run down the hallway.

Gibbs stopped a few steps away from Tony's room, his coffee in hand, as he watched Abby stop right in front of him. "Yea Abby?"

"Is Ziva here?" Abby seemed out of breath, having sprinted from McGee's car, through the parking lot, and towards Tony's room. Gibbs was pretty sure this was the first time he had ever seen her out of breath. It was a little strange.

"Yea." Gibbs answered and turned around, about to walk into Tony's room, as originally intended. A hand grabbed hold of his shoulder, causing him to turn around in confusion. Abby was deliberately trying to keep him from going into DiNozzo's room. _Why?_ "Yes, Abby?"

"Uh," Abby froze, McGee coming up behind her. Tim was just as much out of the loop as Gibbs was. "Did you talk to Ducky yet? Did you find out how the Petty Officer died?"

"Yea. Probably the baseball bat we found to the back of the head." Gibbs cocked an eyebrow and questioned her silently. With his hands, he signed _'What is going on?'_

As Tim's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, he decided to stop the signing. "Alright, I'm leaving." He turned around and walked towards the nearest vending machine. Although he had already had dinner a few hours ago, he still felt hungry. It was probably his nerves. He still felt guilty about Tony getting hurt. McGee really wanted to make it up to him, but he didn't know how.

Once Tim had moved out of earshot, Gibbs glared at Abby. "Just because you stare at me, doesn't mean I'm gonna tell ya." He didn't waver, his glare may have even exemplified. "Gibbs…"

He continued to glare. "Fine. Ziva needed to talk to Tony about something." Abby spoke, adding as clarification. "Alone."

"About what?" What could they possibly talk about that he couldn't hear?

"Well that's…" she paused before smiling, "Need to know."

"Abby."

"Gibbs." Abby tried to do her best impersonation of Gibbs' stare—which she had been practicing with DiNozzo on the days they didn't have a case. Gibbs smiled at her attempt, but cocked an eyebrow again. "Well if this goes as well as I'm assuming it will, they'll be able to tell you."

Gibbs moved towards Tony's room again, but Abby's hand stopped him once it was placed upon his arm. "Gibbs please." This time, she tried her puppy dog eyes. There was no way that Gibbs would be able to deny her with them.

He let out a huff and allowed her to lead him to where McGee was. "Boss, we can actually get you some real coffee now!" Pulling him and McGee towards the entrance of the hospital, she took them across the street towards the Starbucks. Abby could only pray that there would be a long enough line so Ziva could tell Tony how she felt.

* * *

A/N: Alright, I know, it's cliché, but I just really feel like Tony would get himself into that little spot. Kissing two girls in one day, I just felt it would happen.


	9. Chapter 9: The Italian Stallion

A/N: Okay one chapter left. *wipes brow* I've taken forever with this story. Thanks for all the comments and thanks for being so patient with me. I'm personally a very impatient person when coming to new chapters.

* * *

Chapter 9: The Italian Stallion

Anthony DiNozzo hadn't been in this situation before. Well, he had kissed two girls in one day, but never had he been in love with two women at the same time. Grant he had only been in love once before this, truly in love at least. Jeanne was the only person he could think about living the rest of his life with, but now, now that would never happen. She hated him and she had that right. But it didn't stop the sting that came with the thought of how happy they were.

He never thought his situation could be worse than that. He didn't think anything could top having to be Tony DiNardo, to be himself, but not really himself. He didn't like lying to Jeanne, and he hated the way things ended. As Jenny said, "_Did you really think this could end any other way?"_ Tony truly loved her and he didn't want to lose her, but there was no way that she'd want to stay with him after finding out the real reason they were together. No matter what—or how many times he apologized and told her how much he loved her—Jeanne would never be able to trust him again.

And now. Now everything was worse. He had to choose: the woman lying next to him in his bed now or the woman who had been there when he had the plague. He loved them both. And they both loved him. But how could he do this to them? Tony couldn't let the charade go on; he'd just lose both of them. But there was no way he'd be able to pick between them.

_There's a choice you need to make. Either Kate or Ziva. Either way you'll be losing one. Choose wisely. _

How could he possibly choose? There was no way that one was any better than the other. If anything they deserved more than him. He wasn't the morally-sound, rich lawyer Kate was used to dating. How could he even compare to Lieutenant Roy? Ziva had been in love with him and watched him die. There was probably still some feelings left.

_Oh God. What have I gotten myself into? _

* * *

Tony looked over at Ziva who was staring back at him. His eyes were half open as he could feel sleep beckoning. _No, I need to tell her first. I need to tell her about Kate._ He smiled at her, which she returned.

He reached his hand up and brushed her hair away from her face. Her hand reached up and grabbed hold of his face, smoothing her thumb over the five o' clock shadow on his cheek. It tickled her fingers, but she ignored it. Looking in those green eyes made her want to kiss him again. _Oh God, when did this get so bad?_

His eyes continued to droop. "Get some sleep Tony." Her voice was soft and caring, lulling him to sleep. _No._

But slowly his arm fell limp upon his stomach and his eyes shut as sleep claimed him again.

* * *

"Alright Abby, you've distracted me enough." He cocked an eyebrow at him as he downed his second coffee. Although he knew that Tony was still with Ziva and in completely capable hands, he still wanted to see his agent. He was sure that DiNozzo would appreciate hearing about the case, even though he wouldn't be able to help, except bouncing ideas off of each other. Besides, Gibbs got more sleep in the hospital than he did at his own house.

Abby huffed. Well she did her best. "Alright let's go. Come on Tim." McGee hadn't touched his coffee the entire time, nor did he really say a word. It was strange to see the change that happened upon him all so suddenly. What had Gibbs missed? Did something happen that he was unaware of?

Although McGee's sudden change was unexpected and seemingly random, Tim had been having trouble ever since Tony got hurt. He'd try to keep his mind off of what happened and when he saw Tony, he busied himself with trying to help him. There was no way he could allow himself to think about it. The only times he did were when he laid awake at night, feeling responsible for what had happened. No one seemed to blame him, although he doubted that Tony even really remembered what happened, but that didn't stop him from blaming himself. If he had just done something…

Gibbs sent Abby a questioning look, which she turned her head towards McGee. She had noticed the change as well while they sat and had coffee. He was silent while Abby kept the conversation going, although that wasn't every strange. Abby normally was the talkative one, along with Tony, while McGee would talk, but not too much when Abby was talking as energetically as she had been.

Gibbs, Abby, and McGee made their way back into the hospital and towards Tony's room. Ziva was now sitting in the chair next to DiNozzo's bed; when she heard Abby's clicking footsteps, she moved to the chair. A faint smile was on her lips as she watched Tony sleep. He just seemed so peaceful.

Abby sighed in relief as she was happy they didn't interrupt Ziva and Tony. She just wondered how it went. Taking a seat on Tony's bed, Abby continued to look at McGee, wondering what was wrong. The longer she stared at him, the more confused she became as the suggestions came and went out of her mind. Sometimes she just didn't know what Tim was thinking at all.

McGee stared at DiNozzo, not truly seeing him anymore. His eyesight started to fade as his mind started to drift onto the reason Tony was in the hospital in the first place.

Unknown to the rest of the group, Tony popped an eye open, still tired, but suddenly awoken by the movement of people around him. His cracked eye settled upon McGee and he titled his head slightly. "Whatcha starin' at McGeek?"

Tim shook his head and looked at Tony again. "What?"

As all heads turned to McGee, a nurse popped her head into the room, reminding them that visiting hours were almost up. DiNozzo continued to stare at McGee. "Uh, are you okay McGee?"

"Yea, fine. Why?" As if Tony's ability to sense other people's problems had been heightened, he squinted at his teammate and furrowed his eyebrows. He turned to look at Abby and Gibbs who both were at a loss for what was wrong. Cocking an eyebrow at them and then the door, Gibbs sighed as he realized that he was going to get coffee again.

"We're going. Come on Abby, Ziva." _Damn, I need to talk to Ziva too. One at a time DiNozzo._ As the three left, Tony looked at McGee who was situated on the bed that had been wheeled in long ago for Gibbs. DiNozzo's hand beckoned Tim towards him, silently offering him the chair that Ziva had just vacated.

"What's going on Probie?"

"Nothing." McGee denied as he took the seat. He knew that eventually he'd have to tell him, unless he could hold out until the end of visiting hours. Tim could only hope.

Tony sighed as he realized Tim wasn't going to fess up so easily. God, his life had gotten so difficult lately. "Ya know, even if I wasn't the All-Powerful DiNozzo, I'd still know you were lying. You're…well you're not here. Not your mind at least." Tony reached up and knocked on Tim's head lightly before McGee pushed it away.

"So what? I'm a little distracted." McGee got to his feet and turned away.

"If it's nothing, why are you getting so agitated?"

"I am not."

"Now you're acting like me." Tony smiled at the thought.

"God Tony, just stop." DiNozzo shut his mouth before a word could escape it and the smile was slowly fading into an impassive face—the one Gibbs normally took on.

"What's wrong?"

"Stop asking me that! Nothing's wrong."

"Yea, I can see that. So are you trying to become Gibbs or are you just being stubborn?" Tony moved himself into a sitting position, which wasn't the easiest process. With McGee's help he managed it and was able to lean far enough back on the pillows to keep himself comfortable. "Ohhh, I get it."

"Get what?" McGee asked quickly.

"I get what's up with you."

"You do?"

"Yup…you're seeing someone new! Go Probie!"

"No To—"

"McGee, I'm kidding." Tony squirmed a little as he tried to get the ache in his stomach to stop making itself known. "You're upset because of this. Because of me."

"No!"

Tony squinted at him, almost as if he was tasting what McGee had said and deciding if it was the truth or not. He cocked an eyebrow as a smile crossed his lips. He pumped his good arm into the air, "I still go it!"

"Tony…"

"McGee, this isn't your fault."

"But if I—"

"Yea, if you did what?" He raised his eyebrows at McGee. "No matter what you did. You couldn't stop me. You know me. Got a one track mind. I go with my first instinct."

"Which is normally controlled by your stomach or your…downstair's brain."

"You got it." DiNozzo smiled and let out a small laugh. "You good now?"

"I guess."

"You guess? Really Probie. Come on. Once I get outta here, I'll make it up to you. We'll go clubbing!"

"Uh, no Tony that's okay."

"McGee I'm not taking no for an answer." Tony yawned and nuzzled farther into the pillow—if that was even possible anymore.

"Whatever you say. Get some sleep."

"Everyone keeps telling me that," he started to close his eyes again. "But I feel like that's all I do…" Soon his eyes were completely closed and McGee could see his eyes moving underneath them, signaling his departure into slumber land.

* * *

Gibbs walked back into DiNozzo's room and took a seat in the chair next to Tony's bed. Finally there was nothing that would keep him from his agent's room. He leaned back against the chair and looked at Tony with a smile. It seemed like eternity since he had last seen him.

He closed as he realized that his agent was sleeping soundly. "Boss?" _Damnit._ He popped an eye open and looked at the tired looking DiNozzo.

"Yea DiNozzo?" He could tell that although he had stayed awake for a long time, it wore him out. The constant waking up and falling back to sleep probably didn't help either. The tired lines that ran across the younger man's face hadn't been this deep in awhile.

"Have you ever had to make a choice between two people?"

Gibbs cocked an eyebrow, unsure of where this was going or where it came from. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, did you ever fall for two women at once?"

Gibbs looked at Tony suspiciously, but thought back to himself. He could remember how much he had loved Jenny, and he wasn't sure if he still felt that way or just wanted to feel that way again. Also he had felt the same for Lieutenant Mann, but that hadn't worked out so well. After three ex-wives, there was no one really left for him. He only truly loved Shannon, but she was gone and he knew he'd never feel the same way with another woman. "Why?"

"Just answer the question Boss."

"No."

DiNozzo let out a sigh. "Of course not because only I could get myself into this much trouble."

"What are you talking about DiNozzo?"

"Boss, the DiNozzo charm has gotten me into trouble."

"Doesn't it always."

"But this time, it involves two people I actually love."

Gibbs cocked an eyebrow, and stared at DiNozzo, waiting for him to elaborate.

"Ziva and Kate. I don't know which one to choose."

Gibbs stared at Tony, a little surprised. He hadn't expected that.

"What should I do?" A yawn escaped Tony's desperate lips.

"Sleep on it."

"Sleeping doesn't seem to be helping…" he paused to yawn again, as his eyes fluttered. "At all." As his eyes closed, he wondered how he was going to get through this. Who was he going to choose? And how was he going to tell them about each other? Ziva should know that Kate kissed him and Kate should know Ziva kissed him. _Damnit, why do I get myself into these messes?_

Tony finally settled into a deep sleep—a much needed rest—while Gibbs sat back in the chair. "DiNozzo," he breathed as he shook his head. Tony just could never catch a break.

* * *

Tony awoke to an empty room, which made him feel a little unnerved. Normally there would be at least someone—normally Kate—in the chair next to him, but not then. When he had fallen asleep he could have sworn that Gibbs was there, but he wasn't there anymore.

Taking a quick look around the room, he exhaled. No one was truly there.

As Tony settled himself into a more comfortable position, he decided to take a walk. The doctors said he could take a walk, not that any of his team really let him out of his bed much, but hey, since when does exercise hurt you?

Shifting his weight to his left and moving his legs to the side of the bed was pretty easy, but as soon as he sat himself up, Tony found things became a little more difficult. Falling back upon his bed, he let out a huff of exasperated air. He'd been lying around for too long. Been sleeping for too long.

But for once it seemed that sleeping had helped him out. Gibbs was right; sleeping helped him make up his mind. He smiled to himself as he saw the decided victor come strolling towards his room.

* * *

A/N: A little McGee fixin' in this chapter and next chapter I promise I'll stop trying to be suspenseful and just tell you who won Tony's heart!


	10. Chapter 10: The Victor is

A/N: EEK! I'm so sorry. I—I—I…I'm a horrible procrastinator and ended up doing all my projects at the last minute, BUT thankfully we have standardized testing this week so I had time to write the rest of this. Okay…I hope no one kills me. *ducks under desk*

* * *

Chapter 10: And the Victor is…

Although he still hadn't figured out how he was going to tell her, Tony couldn't help himself but smile. There she was, in all her lovely glory. It was almost as if he was seeing her for the first time again.

As her silent feet made their way into the room, Tony's smile only grew wider. "What is so funny Tony?" she asked.

"No, not funny."

"Then what?"

"It's nothing. I'm just happy to see you." She tilted her head to the side and let a smile grace her lips. She moved closer and leaned over the end of his bed.

"Oh really?" She cocked an eyebrow at him and bit her lip playfully.

"Really, _Zee-vah_." He reached his good arm up and pulled her onto the bed with him. She quickly took up a position next to him and ran her hand through his hair playfully. A slight giggle escaped her lips before she placed her hand on the side of her cheek. Placing a kiss upon his lips, she almost forgot the reason she had come to see Tony in the first place.

Pulling away, Ziva looked at him before saying, "Tony, Abby sent me to see if you need anything. Gibbs has locked her in her lab until she finishes her paperwork."

"Then why are you here my little ninja? Isn't Gibbs on his third coffee by now?" DiNozzo spoke with a bright smile. His fingers itched at his side, but he resisted. He had to tell Ziva how much he loved her.

"Oh, Gibbs does not know I left. I am playing hockey."

"Hooky." His fingers laced themselves into her hair. Looking into her brown eyes, he asked, "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

Ziva blinked rapidly before composing herself. She hadn't expected the change in subject. There was an overwhelming sense of relief that seemed to flow through her. It was so good to hear him say that. "No, you have not."

"Well then…" he pulled her close to him again. Her head rested upon his chest—avoiding the healing gunshot wound. She looked up at him as she nuzzled closer to him. His good arm wrapped around her and started towards her stomach, making small circles over it. He felt her stomach move as he tickled her lightly. "I love you Ziva."

"And I love you too my hairy butt," she looked up at him and smiled again. Making sure he knew how she felt, she ran her hand up the hospital shirt he wore, placing her hand on his chest and kissing his cheek.

Almost as if their boss had a sixth sense, Ziva's phone rang. Out of instinct she answered the phone quickly, "Yes Gibbs?"

Even though he was lying right next to her, Tony felt like he shouldn't be able to hear Gibbs that clearly through the phone. _"Where are you?"_

"I am, uh.." For some reason she couldn't think of a good lie at the moment, which was particularly strange, since she was normally capable of lying on the spot at any time. Tony reached over and ripped the phone out of her hand, placing it to his ear.

"Hey Boss—"

"_DiNozzo? Why is Ziva with you?_

"Because I asked her to come." He looked at Ziva and winked, although he really didn't know what he was doing.

DiNozzo could hear him sigh quietly before saying, _"Tell her to get her now."_ The click from the phone was enough for both of them to realize he wasn't too happy with Ziva's disappearing act. Making a classic DiNozzo face at Ziva—signaling the trouble she was in—he looked sadly down at her as she started to move away. "I should be getting back then."

"Promise you'll come back after hours? Maybe with something more…comfortable?" Tony wiggled his eyebrows as a smile returned to his face.

Ziva laughed as she left, "In your dreams."

* * *

Tony huffed in annoyance. All he could do was wait and think. And what he realized was the more you think, the easier it is for you to back out of something. He didn't want to tell Kate about Ziva, he didn't want to tell her that he loved Ziva, that he didn't love her. And as Tony sat there, he started to think of ways to get around it. Maybe he could just send her a note. _No, no, that's too mean. Too impersonal. I'm better than that._

Maybe he could just tell her that he wanted to be friends. _No, no. That's like a slap to the face._

He scrunched his face in annoyance as he thought upon ways of telling her, but every way ended with her crying or him feeling totally horrible. If only he had a time machine that would have stopped him from kissing her the other day.

"Hello Tony," the nurse came in, pushing a wheelchair with her. He eyed her cautiously. He liked Rachel, but he wasn't too crazy about that wheelchair.

"Hey Rachel…what's that for?" he nodded his head towards the wheelchair. Tony surely didn't want to be seen weak by using a wheelchair.

"You've been cooped up in this room for the past two weeks. I think it's time to get you out, even if it's only in the hospital." She smiled brightly as she moved the wheelchair closer to the bed. "And it's easier than walking." She nodded before pulling the blankets that lay on top of his legs off the bed. "Ready?"

Her eyes peered up at him as he nodded. Anything would be better than being stuck in that room…thinking.

She helped him maneuver his legs and body into the wheelchair—much easier than when he tried to stand on his own. Rachel grabbed the back of the wheelchair and started to push, but was stopped when a woman stood in the doorway. She smiled at her, having seen her stay in Tony's room everyday, but for the life of her couldn't remember her name.

"Hey Kate." He greeted her, but he couldn't completely hide the sadness he held. Tony wanted them to be friends, but he knew that most of his relationships ended with a slap and an 'I never want to see you again'. In the past DiNozzo would have loved for this to have happened. For him and Kate to actually be together, but she left him. And he was pretty sure she left because of him, she didn't really deny the accusation. In those three years that Kate was gone, he had grown very close to Ziva.

"Hi Tony." She moved towards the nurse, standing right next to her. "Could I possibly…?"

"Sure," Rachel answered, stepping away from the wheelchair. "Just as long as you call me when you bring him back. Getting back into bed is always the hard part." And without another word, she left the room. There was a slightly unsettling silence that filled the room, causing Kate to worry.

"Where are we going?" Kate asked, trying to make conversation. There was something wrong with Tony, other than the gunshot wounds. There was something bothering him. Something he needed to get off his chest.

"I don't know. Rachel was just getting me outta the room." His voice was unusually sullen. Kate furrowed an eyebrow and started to push the wheelchair out of the room. Placing both of his arms on his lap, DiNozzo looked straight ahead, wondering what the hell he was going to say; and trying to figure out if there were any stairs around, hoping that Kate wouldn't just throw him down them.

"Tony," Kate started, unsure of what to say. "You seem…distracted. Is everything okay?"

Tony squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his eyes with his good hand. "No. I need to talk to you Kate."

"About what?" A wave of panic ran through her body. _What happened?_

They hadn't talked about the kiss at all. _God, this was going to suck. _"I kissed Ziva." _Nice going DiNozzo. Just be blunt and throw it at her face. Now why don't you just hand her a baseball bat so she can beat you with it!_

She stopped pushing the wheelchair, blinking rapidly as her face was a mixture of shock and awe. Had they not just kissed the day before? Was Tony really doing this to her? "What?"

Tony sighed, taking in a breath right afterwards, trying to calm his voice. "I love Ziva." There was silence that followed his statement and he followed with, "I'm sorry Kate."

Kate's hands let go of the wheelchair, and she stared at the back of Tony's head. She couldn't see his face since he was staring straight ahead, but that didn't stop the tears from pricking the back of her eyes. Not even trying to stop them, she allowed them to fall down her face.

There were no words to describe how she felt. She wanted to run, but she also wanted to demand the reasons why she wasn't good enough for Tony. Kate didn't want to lose him, but apparently she already had. She lost him the day she left NCIS. That day, she made one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

* * *

Do you happen to know how hard it is to try to wheel yourself back to your room with one arm? Well, it just so happens that Tony found out the hard way for a few minutes until a nurse came across him struggling in the hallway. Asking what his room number was, she wheeled him back to his bed and helped him back into it. His stare was slightly vacant, now that his mind was racing.

Kate had run off to the bathroom, tears screaming down her face. Leaving Tony to his own troubles. He felt like he should be beaten with a large blunt object for what he did to Kate. How could he not be gentler? How could he be so harsh and just tell her? He should have been nicer to her. And now she probably hates him.

Hitting his head roughly against the backboard, Tony stared straight ahead.

"DiNozzo? You okay?" Gibbs' words cut through the silence and into Tony's little world of sorrow and self-loathing. His green eyes turned towards his boss's and paused. He definitely deserved a few head slaps for this.

" 'M fine," Tony mumbled as he felt the need of Gibbs' hand across the back of his head.

"_DiNozzo?_" Gibbs asked, cocking an eyebrow, just wanting to cut out all the bullshit. He truly hated it when Tony tried to deny something was wrong, especially when Gibbs was actually going to listen to him. Although he knew that neither he nor his senior field agent was good with feelings, DiNozzo had to try to tell him.

"Ya know how I had that problem before? With Kate and Ziva?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I told Kate that I love Ziva." Gibbs made an unreadable face, causing Tony to stare with curiosity and confusion. He had never seen that face, and he worried that it might not be a good one.

Cocking an eyebrow at his agent, he wondered if Tony understood his reaction. Quickly, DiNozzo's mouth formed the shape of an 'O' before shaking his head. "Boss, if you're worried about rule 12, don't. Because this is time, I'm not gonna listen."

Tony felt the urge to duck his head or turn away, knowing that his boss would be pissed with his insubordination, but he was going to stick to his guns. He loved Ziva, and he wasn't about to let Gibbs get in the way of that.

He continued to stare at Gibbs, watching his unchanging movements. _Oh God, I'm so fire!_

"Where's Kate?" Gibbs asked bluntly, ignoring Tony's last comment. Instead, his mind went to Kate, wondering what Tony could have possibly said to her. You would think that after having to deal with so many short-term relationships, DiNozzo would be able to do this like a pro.

"In the bathroom, I think." Gibbs stood up, coffee in hand as he saw a flash of their favorite Goth.

"Tony!" Abby yelped as she launched herself in his direction. "You're leaving the hospital soon!"

"Really?" Tony asked, masking his sadness with excitement. If he hadn't just done something that ripped at his heart, maybe he would have been happier.

His eyes moved to his boss, but he already disappeared. Leave it to Gibbs to withhold the information of Tony's release. "Where's the Bossman going?"

Tony just shrugged. He furrowed his eyebrow at Abby, "Why are you here?" He didn't mean for it to sound rude or unwelcome, everyone knew how bored he got, but he was definitely curious since Gibbs had ordered Ziva back before. Abby put on a pout, but she was unable to hold in her smile at Tony's good news. They would finally be getting back to normal. Or as normal as NCIS was going to get with the two lovebirds together. She had made sure that Ziva had told her everything before they had finished up the paperwork.

"We're here to see you." McGee spoke as he moved into the room with Ziva on his heels. "We finished our reports and Gibbs let us off."

"If McGee let me drive," Ziva spoke up, moving into the room and sitting next to Tony, her hand already moving its way through his hair. She avoided the missing patch of hair that was starting to grow back in. "We would have been here before Gibbs."

"Yea, on a stretcher," McGee jibed before taking a seat on the spare bed. "Plus, Abby got stopped because she tried to sneak you some pizza."

Tony's bottom lip jetted out in a pout as he thought of the food the hospital has been trying to feed him. He was relying on his friends bringing him food. _Karma…_

"But," Abby spoke with a sly smile upon her face. "They didn't find the gummy bears!" And sure enough a small bag of gummy bears was on the inside of her jacket. Tony smiled up at her. _Abby was a real lifesaver._

* * *

Kate wiped the tears from her eyes. She should have known this from the start, but the false hope her heart was living on hid the truth from her. When she left without saying goodbye, Kate should have known that there was no going back. But she just wished she hadn't gone through all this. She still loved Tony, but it would have to be a friendship kind of love—like his relationship with Abby. Maybe someday she'd get a second chance, but now it was Ziva's chance and she had to respect that.

She knew all this, but it still killed her inside. Kate should be happy for Tony and Ziva, right?

She sighed heavily as the tears still continued down her face. _God how can I be so stupid?_

The door opened behind her, and her eyes went to the mirror. Seeing the gray hair and piercing blue eyes that had been the signature look for her boss all those years ago, Kate turned her head away from the mirror and door, hiding her pain from the ex-marine. "Gibbs, this is the lady's room," she spoke, trying to keep the tears out of her voice. It would have worked on most, but Gibbs was keen to the most silent of things. He glanced up at the door, as if just noticing the female figure on it.

"Ya think?" Gibbs leaned against the wall behind Kate, staring at the mirror. Kate's tear-stricken face was reflected in it. He frowned as he was never good with feelings, but his team always needed some help with theirs. And somehow he was always the one that had to help them.

"Go away Gibbs."

No reply. Gibbs continued to stare at Kate's avoiding eyes in the mirror. Placing his one foot against the tiled wall, he settled himself. He wasn't going to leave.

Letting out a sigh Kate turned around. "I love him Gibbs. I really do." The tears were still coming down, maybe even faster now. "I don't know what to do." Her words left her lips slowly, but they caused her to stop. Did she know what to do? She should just suck it up. Try to get back on better terms with the rest of her team…former team. Even try to become friends with Ziva. It wasn't like after all these years, she hasn't missed them, but they just didn't seem to be the thing that would make her happy again. Apparently they were.

She smiled and looked at Gibbs. He returned the smile and moved closer to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Thanks Gibbs."

"Didn't do anything," he returned before moving towards the bathroom door. Kate followed behind him and before she knew it, they were outside DiNozzo's room.

Stepping into the room, Kate felt a little unwanted, or maybe a little left out. Ziva was lying next to Tony, while Abby sat on the edge of the bed with McGee standing behind her. Gibbs took up his normal spot next to the bed in the only chair in the room. It was almost as if she had disappeared for three years and had returned to find that she had been replaced and that everyone had moved on…except her. But Kate was sure they'd let her back in.

"Tony!" McGee yelped as a gummy bear was thrown in his direction. Kate's lips cracked into a smile as a laugh escaped her lips. Tony looked up at her, a little fearful at first, but after seeing her smile, he relaxed into Ziva's being. A gummy bear was thrown at DiNozzo's face, jerking him back to reality. It looked like this was going to work out after all.

* * *

A/N: I'm so sorry to all the Kate lovers. But I've been watching so much of NCIS with Ziva and she's just so damn kickass! Not that Kate wasn't amazing either. Ugh, I'm not gonna win. Anyway, I hope you liked it even if you wanted Tony to end up with Kate.

I'm not too crazy about the ending. It took me the longest to figure out and I'm still not happy. I hope it didn't suck! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Although I did take forever with this story, it was still fun to write! And I hope you enjoyed reading it!

Oh, and I've just got to say one last thing. Some of your comments about Kate truly made me laugh. I never knew so many people actually hated her that badly. I guess it's a good thing Sasha Alexander left the show.


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